Hanara Hyuga
by Miharu Sky
Summary: OC. This is the story of Hanara Hyuga, runaway twin sister of Neji. GaaraXOC, ItachiXOC very slight angst
1. Prologue

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Prologue**

Hizashi Hyuga was in love, but he was not allowed. She was not someone who could ever be accepted into the Hyuga clan. She was an Uchiha, and Hizashi's father had already found a woman for him to marry.

He snuck out of the house every night just to see her. Raven. She was beautiful, with her long black hair, black eyes, and skin that practically glowed in the moonlight. He thought all day about those few moments he would have alone with her. He dreaded his wedding date, knowing that after that day, he would never see the love of his life again.

He thought about all of this as he jumped through the trees to their meadow, one he had found as a young boy, right after the curse mark had been sealed onto him by his own father. When he finally made it to the meadow, he saw her, standing in the moonlight, a black kimono with a red obi enveloping her perfect body. He stepped out of the shadows and a smile spread across her perfect features. He couldn't stand the thought of never seeing her again. He never wanted to be with another woman as much as he wanted to be with her.

"Raven," he whispered, she stared at him, the smile fading into sadness, and he knew she was hurting just as bad as he was. He wrapped her in his arms and she began to cry, sobs shaking her entire body.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair.

"It's not your fault," she sobbed, her words a jumbled mess that he barely made out.

"It is my fault. I should be able to find a way around this."

"You can go against your clan no more than I can go against mine," she said, "my father will probably find someone for me to marry too, and I will have to do it willingly, even if I do not want to."

"I can't stand this," he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Nor can I," she said reaching up to kiss his lips. The kiss deepened and progressed.

That was the last night they ever saw each other.

MMM

Hizashi Hyuga's wedding was nothing compared to his brother's. Hiashi's was elaborate and beautiful, with flowers and everyone important in Konohoa in attendance, including the Hokage. Hizashi's on the other hand was a small union held in the garden with only clan members, most of Main House didn't even bother to stay and congratulate the newlyweds, but it was a wedding nonetheless and now he was married.

Miyako was her name, and she tried to be the perfect wife to Hizashi, but he wanted nothing to do with her. For the first year of their marriage, she did not leave his side, a week after their first anniversary, Hizashi's father called upon him.

"Have you and Miyako thought about children?" he asked.

"No," Hizashi answered flatly.

"And why not?"

"I do not love her."

"I did not ask you if you loved her, I asked about children."

"I do not want children with her."

"This is not about you, this is about the clan."

"And what about Hiashi, him and his wife have been married far longer than Miyako and I, but they have no children either!"

"Hiashi is none of your concern at the moment. I expect a child from you before this time next year. I you do not come through on this, there will be severe consequences.

Hizashi could only nod and leave. He could not believe what was happening.

A month later, Miyako announced she was pregnant and Hizashi found some joy in knowing he was to be a father. He made a vow that he would not be like his father or his brother, he would treat his child like a human being.

The pregnancy was pretty uneventful. The first time he felt the baby kick, his heart filled with pride, he was positive it would be a boy. Eight and a half months into the pregnancy though, he was called on a mission. He hated leaving knowing that his child could be born at any given moment, but he had to do his duty. So he left, hoping to be back soon.

MMM

When he returned, he noticed that the house was in an uproar. He ran through the halls as fast as he could, his heart drumming in his heart with fear. Could something have gone wrong? He hoped not. When he reached his room, he was told he could not go in by a medicnin. He paced the hall nervously, barely noticing his brother watching his every move.

After what seemed like forever, a medicnin came out holding two bundles in her arms. She handed them to Hizashi and said, " A boy and a girl, congratulations."

"And Miyako," he asked distractedly.

"She died in childbirth," the medic informed him.

"Oh," was all he could say. It didn't hurt as much as it should have for him to lose his wife. Two beautiful children were brought into this world safely for her sacrifice and for that he thanked her.

"What will you name them?" Hiashi asked.

"The boy will be named Neji and the girl Hanara," he said, his voice saturated with joy. This did not go unnoticed by Hiashi who resolved at that moment to have a child of own.

MMM

A year later, Neji and Hanara were just learning to walk when Hiashi's wife gave birth to a girl who was named Hinata. She had small tufts of bluish hair like her mother's and the white eyes that signified the Hyuga clan. He was proud of the birth of his daughter but not nearly as overjoyed as Hizashi had been about his children.

Hizashi watched as Neji cautiously made his way across the way to his sister. She smiled a toothless smile at him as squealed happily as if cheering him on. Hizashi couldn't have been happier. Or so he told himself. He knew that if Raven were here he would be the happiest man alive, but he had heard she had married a man and had a son she named Tarou. He hoped with all his heart that she was happy, he could stand know she might be in pain because of him.

MMM

On Hinata's third birthday, Hiashi told Hizashi it was time for Neji and Hanara to be sealed. Hizashi looked down at them all wide eyed and innocent in their formal clothes, listening to the adults talk. He could tell neither understood, but there was nothing he could do about it. Anger and helplessness welled up inside him as he looked at his children.

"Okay," he said and allowed his brother to take them. Never in his life had he felt so helpless.

MMM

A/N- R&R, and please be kind, this is my first story and I worked hard on it. NO FLAMES!!!! I can't tell you when the next time I update will be, but I hope to get it up soon. BTW The rest of the story will be from Hanara's POV.


	2. Chapter 1

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**A/N- Thanks to Originalatorian, EmoLollipop, and Vampiress22, for reviewing, and making my day!**

**Chapter 1**

I can't believe this, why did he let this happen to us? I lay next to Neji in our room, crying, the same as he is. It's all father's fault, he could have stopped this, he knew it was coming and he did nothing to stop it. Neji lets out a loud sob next to me and I can't tell if it's from the pain or the betrayal of our father.

"It'll be okay Neji," I say quietly to him, sitting up.

"No it won't! Don't you understand? We're slaves now!" he yelled. I look at the floor, blinking tears away.

"I'm sorry," he said, pulling me into a hug.

"At least we still have each other," I say.

"Yeah."

MMM

Not long after, Neji and I were watching Hiashi train Hinata; even though she was only three he treated her as if she were a full fledged jonin. I was so caught up in the cruelness that uncle inflicted upon his daughter that I saw nothing else; that is until he spun around and activated the curse mark on father. He clutched his head, ripping his headband off and screaming with pain. Neji immediately ran to his side, screaming and crying, asking him what was wrong. I stayed in my spot, trying to keep my face blank of emotions. Uncle made Neji and father leave, but told me to stay. I look at him puzzled.

"Hanara, you've been a very good girl, you shall stay at the main house today and sleep in Hinata's room. Keep her busy and make sure she stays in bed," he instructs angrily. I nod, knowing I have no say in any way.

**That Night- bedtime**

"Come on Lady Hinata, time for bed," I say. She turns around and crosses her arms in defiance.

"Please," I say, hoping she will do as I say. I don't want to end up like father, in pain because of a mistake, but she just wouldn't cooperate.

I've tried everything I could think of, but I'm only four, how much can I be expected to do? I sat on her bed and watched her run around, playing with her dolls and the like. When she finally tires out, she lies on the floor and falls asleep. I pick her up, careful not to wake her, and carry her to her bed and lay her down. She's heavy, but I'm determined not to wake her, if I do, I may never get her back to sleep. I lie down too and try to sleep. What happened to the cute little shy girl everyone sees? I guess she isn't as afraid of me.

It seems like I barely fall asleep and I'm waking up to find Hinata trying to sneak out of the room. I run to the door just in time to stop her.

"No," I say firmly. She huffs at me.

"Your father told me to keep you in bed."

"I want mommy," she says.

"Mommy is trying to sleep; you don't want to wake her up do you?" I ask in a whisper.

"Yes," she says bluntly.

"If you do, your dad will be very angry with you," I say trying to talk her out of it.

"No he will be angry with you," she says.

"Please Lady Hinata, do this for me," I beg. She seems to think about this for a moment.

"What's in it for me?" she asks. I can't believe she is acting like this; she's never acted like this before, what happened to the cute, sweet, shy girl everyone else sees?

I think about it for a moment, what can I give her?

"Neji will play with you tomorrow," I promise, hoping he will do me a favor. She thinks about it.

"Okay," she says, "he better." I sigh knowing she'll go back to bed now. She likes Neji a lot more than she likes me.

**The Next Day**

"Neji, you have to do me a favor," I plead.

"What?" he asks with suspicion.

"You have to play with Lady Hinata today, I promised her you would," I say, looking at the ground.

"Why would you do that?"

"She would have gotten me in trouble with uncle if I didn't give her something she wanted."

"Hinata wouldn't do that."

"You weren't there last night."

I win the argument and Neji spends the day playing with Hinata and I nap, having got next to no sleep last night.

"Hanara," my father's voice breaks through my sleep.

"What?" I groan.

"Uncle Hiashi wants to talk to you," I sit up in alarm, what could he possibly want? I kept Hinata in her room all night.

I walk as slowly as I can to his study, my heart beating faster with every step.

"It's okay," I tell myself, "you did what you were told."  
I knock on the door.

"Come in." I push the door open.

"Hanara, you did a good job last night," he says, his voice cold; "I want you to stay with her every night from now on and keep her from bothering me." I nearly start crying right there. How can anyone be so cruel?

I run to Neji and me's room and collapse on the bed, crying.

"What's wrong?" Neji asks. I didn't even notice him standing there.

"I have to do it again," I sob.

"Do what?"

Look after Hinata! And, I have to do it every night from now on! Don't you see Neji? She hates me!" He looked taken aback.

"I don't think Hinata can hate anyone, even if she wants to," he says. I just shake my head.

So every night from then on, I battled Hinata to keep her in bed, usually promising Neji would play with her to get her to stay in bed. I hated uncle for forcing this on me, I hated Neji for not believing me, I hated Hinata for hating me, I hated father for not stopping all of this, but most of all I hated myself, because I was so weak.

MMM

A/N- I know I made Hinata look bad in this and don't get me wrong, Hinata is my favorite kunoichi, it's just, I have to make the Main Family look evil for the rest of the story to work, so just bear with me, Hinata will go back to being the shy quiet girl we all know and love soon.

The next chapter will be two years later. Also, I know Hanara and Neji don't act like four year olds, but I'm no good writing for small children, so just act like their the geniuses everyone thinks Neji is.


	3. Chapter 2

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 2**

**Flashback**

_How could something like this happen? Why would someone want to kidnap Hinata? And why should uncle be put to death? Because he was trying to save his daughter? I don't understand any of this. Father looks sad, but I guess I would too if someone wanted to kill Neji. _

_Father wants to talk to us, I wonder what about._

_"Now listen you two, I know this will be hard for you to understand, but try your best." The look on his face says everything; it is his duty after all. I can tell Neji doesn't understand yet. _

_"You understand why I have to do it don't you?" he asks hopefully._

_"Do what?" Neji asks._

_"He has to die for uncle to save the bloodline limit," I yell angrily. Why him, he didn't do it! None of this was his fault and yet he has to pay for it! I hate the main family and I hate uncle!_

**End Flashback**

MMM

It's been almost a year now that father has been gone. Neji and I are six now and Hinata's five. Still no new babies in the house like uncle wants. He finds Hinata weak and wants another child to train to be like him. I still have to keep Hinata in bed every night and I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in two years. I wish I knew why this was happening to me. What could I have done wrong? I'm only six for crying out loud (which is what I feel like doing!) And to top it all off, Neji hardly talks to me anymore. It's like he blames me!

MMM

I stare at the ceiling, Hinata sleeping quietly for once. Does anyone care what about me? They don't act like it. Everyone ignores me for the most part. The kids that go to the academy with Neji walk by with him on the way home and stare at me like I'm some kind of freak. Why? What did I do wrong? The tears burn behind my eyes and threaten to leak over. I won't let them, I can't, I have to be strong, for father if no one else.

It seems like I've only just gotten to sleep when I am being pulled out of bed by Uncle. I blink groggily at him, not comprehending who he really is.

"Wake up!" he yells. I do my best to look alert.

"You're going to run an errand for me today," he says with fake happiness. I nod. He hands me a package.

"Take this to the Uchiha's," he says and I nod again.

I've knocked on the door at least a hundred times and still no one answers. What's wrong with these people? Do they ever wake up? Finally after what seems like forever, someone answers. He's tall with long black hair and cold black eyes and he's holding an ANBU mask. I hold the package out and he takes it.

"This is for Raven," he says, handing it back to me. "I'll go get her."

His voice is quiet but has a hardness to it that sends chills down my spine. I stand in the open door way for a long time before a woman who was probably once beautiful comes to the door. She has long black hair pulled back into a knot on the top of her head, and there are frown lines etched deep in her face like she hasn't smiled in a long time. I hand her the package and she looks at it and then looks back at me surprised.

"Thank you," she manages. I bow and she closes the door.

As I walk home, I can't help thinking about the Uchiha's. They've always been sort of weird toward our family, like we wronged them, but I don't know how.

MMM

I wonder if he knows I'm here? I've been watching him for hours, practicing, doing the same moves over and over. He does a lot of this spinning thing, it looks funny, but it makes a lot of wind.

I want to learn the things Neji knows. I want to be a ninja too. But I'm not allowed to go to the academy. There's no reason.

By dinner time Neji is covered in dirt, leaves, and sweat. As he walks back to the house, I stay behind. I look around the clearing and try to think about myself doing all the things Neji learns at the academy. If only he didn't hate me, he could teach me. I sigh and make my way home for dinner.

MMM

**A/N--- Ok, first off, sorry for the long wait, I've been really busy lately.**

**Also, I'm really sorry for the terrible chapter, it's all I could come up with at the moment, I promise, the next chapter will get to the real story, no more of the setting up stuff.**


	4. AN

A/N: I'M NOT GIVING UP ON THIS

**A/N: I'M NOT GIVING UP ON THIS! Just want to tell anyone who actually likes this story that I have a lot going on right now and I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm working on chapter 3 right now, but I also have to help plan a SADD conference. The conference takes place April 12****th****, so I'm almost done and then I'll have more time to work on this fic. **

**I thank anyone who sticks with me and my slow updates, it means a lot to me. And thanks to everyone who reviews.**


	5. Chapter 3

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 3**

**6 years later**

I've had enough! I can't take this anymore. Neji's graduating today and I haven't even so much as seen the academy! I have to get away sometime soon, or I'll be stuck in this cycle forever. I've talked to Neji about running away, but he says it's our destiny and we cannot escape it. I told him I don't believe in destiny anymore.

When Neji gets home he does not look happy.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"My squad is a group of idiots, which is perfect, because so is sensei," he says angrily.

"It can't be that bad. At least you have a squad. I'm stuck here running errands for uncle all day!" I was mad now.

"Oh, and risking your life everyday is so much easier!" so was he.

"At least you have some variation, some adventure," I say, "I have nothing to look forward to Neji, all I get is 'do this' 'do that' from everyone. "I barely know the first thing about being a ninja." I say. He turns around and begins to walk away.

"I'm doing it tonight," I say; I can tell he doesn't believe me. He'll see. They'll all see.

MMM

I open the window quietly and let the wind blow on my face. I take one last look at Neji and jump out. I run across the yard and out the back gate into the forest. Looking back one last time on the only home I've ever known, I spit towards it and keep going, out of Konohoa.

I stop to rest and look at the headband I stole from Neji. I need something to show what village I am from after all. It glints in the moonlight, silver and blue with a swirly leaf.

Out here in the woods, I felt different. I felt free, and it scared me. Like a caged bird being freed for the first time in its life and it doesn't know what to do or where to go. I was afraid.

I kept going for days, unable to stop and soon forest became desert. Sand as far as the eye could see, a great ocean of it. I begin across it and begin to realize how hot a desert really is. I get tired fast, but keep myself going towards a chance at something better. By nightfall I collapse on the sand and close my eyes. I awake to the baking heat of the sun and wicked bad sunburn. Every exposed inch of my skin is red and sensitive. I sigh and begin to walk again, flinching every time my shirt rubs my sunburn. How's this for risking your life Neji? I think bitterly.

Four days go by before I see any sign of civilization and at first I think it's a mirage. The Village in the Sand. I touch the headband around my neck and walk toward the village. My heart pounds hard in my ears as I near it. Then I run into something.

"Watch where your going," a woman says.

"I'm sorry," I say stepping back. I look at the woman I ran into and realize she's only a few years older than I am. She has a long white dress and a giant fan on her back. Her hair is pulled up in four short pigtails.

"Your not from around here are you?" she says. I shake my head.

"Where are you from?"

"The Village in the Leaves," I say.

"Are you a ninja?"  
"No."

"Then where did you get that headband?" she asks.

"I stole it from my brother," I say, touching it subconsciously. She looks at me suspiciously for a moment and I look away.

"What's your name?" she asks.

"Hyuga Hanara," I say.

"Temari," she says, extending her hand. I shake it timidly a few times and then put my hand back at my side awkwardly. She stared at me again, her gaze as intense as the sun above.

"Follow me," she says, walking away. I have to run to keep up. As we walk, I notice a tower, looming above the village like a sentry watching over everything. Did Konohoa have one too, or was this exclusive to the Sand? I can't remember.

"Kankuro," Temari yells, and a boy in a black suit with cat ears and a circle on the front that's half red, half yellow and has a mummy looking thing on his back looks up.

"What," he yells back.

"Look what I found," she says as if I'm some rare treasure. He looks at me for the first time.

"Where's she from?"

"Konohoa."

"She'll never be able to stay," he says and my heart sinks through the bottom of my feet.

"How do you know, we don't have to tell him she's from Leaf, we can say she was wandering in the desert, he'll never know as long as she gets rid of that headband," she says and my hands grab the headband instinctively. I am not about to give it up, it's the only thing I have from home and I intend to keep it.

"No," I say, not taking my hands off the silver plating.

"Then you'll just be sent back home where you belong," Temari says indifferently.

"No," I say, and clutch it tighter. I sink to my knees; my eyes squeezed shut, waiting for someone to hall me all the way back to Konohoa to face the wrath of uncle. I did not travel all this way to be sent back like this, but I can't give up the headband.

"What if I hid it?" I reason. They look at each other.

"You can't hide much from the Kazekage," Temari says.

"I can try."

They lead me into the tower and the guards step aside. Inside it is cooler, and I shiver, having been in the baking desert for so long. We climb a lot of stairs and when we reach the top, there is a door with the hourglass shaped sign of the Sand Village. Temari opens the door without knocking and I flinch, knowing better than to disturb a Kage without warning, even if I'm not a ninja…yet.

The Kazekage looks up from his paperwork. His face is covered and he has long blue and white robes with a matching blue and white hat with the 'wind' kanji on it sitting on the corner of the desk. He had dark reddish-brown hair and an angry scowl on his face.

"What is it now Temari?" he asked roughly.

"Look what I bumped into on my way to training," she says, shoving me forward. I stand nervously under the Kage's gaze.

"Who are you?" he asks.

"H-Hanara sir," I say, stuttering like Hinata talking to her father.

"Where are you from?" he asks, never taking his eyes off me.

"I-I don't remember, I've been lost for so long," I say, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

"Do you have any training as a ninja?"

"N-n-no," I curse myself, this is getting ridiculous.

"Temari," he says.

"Yes."

"Take this girl to Baki, give him my orders to train this girl until she is found to be a suitable genin."

"Yes sir," she says bowing and then pulling me out of the office and then back out into the hot desert heat.

"What just happened?" I ask dazed, I can't comprehend what had gone on, the Kazekage reminded me of uncle. He was gruff and cruel and intimidating.

"You're going to be a ninja now," she says, steering me around with the people, "Are you okay, you're shaking," she says giving me a weird look.

"It's nothing. It's nothing," I say trying to convince myself more than her.

**A/N—Okay, if you read the AuthorNote, you know that I have a SADD conference on April 12****th**** and I've been having a hard time working on this because all my energy is going toward that, even my Spring Break. I put all that aside for a while to finish this so I'm going to have to work extra hard to finish that. I'm on the Welcoming Committee so I have like a hundred signs to make. ( not really my best friend is helping me, but she was in New York all week!) And I'm sorry these are so short, they should get longer.**


	6. Chapter 4

The training area surprises me. It's huge and there's a lot of trees, like in the forest. It looks out of place in all the sand. Temari leads me inside and the shade feels good, but I'm still shaking a little. Why is she taking me _here_? We end up in a clearing and there are three other people already there. One, the only adult, has half his face covered with some sort of veil thing. That boy with the weird cat outfit is here too. And then there's another boy. He's my age, maybe a little younger, he has rust red hair, black ringed aquamarine eyes, and a weird gourd on his back that seems to be spouting small amounts of sand. He looks angry, like he wants to kill me.

"You're late Temari," the man with the veil says.

"I found something I had to tell father about. Kankuro should have told you," she says slightly angry.

"What is it you found that was so important you couldn't wait to tell your father?"

"This," she says, thrusting me forward. All eyes are on me now.

"He says you have to train her now too." He groaned and shook his head.

"What's your name?" he barks at me.

"Hanara Hyuga," I say. I have better confidence with this guy. I wonder why?

"I should have known…the eyes," he mutters.

"I am Baki, this is Kankuro and Gaara and you already know Temari," he introduces everyone. Gaara, that's his name. He begins walking away and everyone just watches. I just watch as all of them relax. A smile breaks out on kankuro's face, Temari takes her fan off and stands it up next to her.

"Lets show her what being a ninja is all about," she says. I barely hear her though, because I can't stop thinking about Gaara's face before he left. There was a look in his eyes that I didn't recognize. It was a scary glint that was mostly pain, but there was something that shouldn't be there. Not in a boy as young as him.

As I think about Gaara, a sharp pain blossoms in my right thigh.

"You missed again Temari," Kankuro says. I look down and there is a knife sticking out of my leg, blood blossoming on my pant leg. A knife, what was it called? A kunai, I think.

I fall on my knees and just stare at the knife in my leg and my vision starts to blur.

"Stop crying. Ninja's don't show emotion," Baki growls and pulls the knife out swiftly and this time I can't help but scream. Blood pours freely now and I feel light headed.

"Here," he says and poors some goo stuff into it. The pain slowly melts away and my tears dry up with it until I'm left with sniffles.

"Stop sniffling," Baki snapps as he stands up.

"Temari, be more careful! Work on your aim." I wipe my tears hastily with my sleeve.

"Pay more attention, you neet to know this stuff," Baki snarls at me.

"Yes, sensei," I say weakly. I watch Kankuro and Temari clash over and over. They know eachothers moves too well. It's a stale mate. But it's still beautiful, like a violent leathal dnace.

Something in me awakens and I know, that's what I want to doe, I want to fight and be graceful at the same time. I want to kill beautifully. I want to be a ninja.

MMM

"This is your room," Temari says, showing me to a small closet of a room. I take a small glance and then look back at her.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask.

"Sure."

"That Gaara, what do you know about him?"

"He's my brother; he's bad news. Leave him alone," she says. I nod and turn and go into my room. I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I lay awake for a long time, thinking about my future as a ninja and Gaara until I fall asleep.

MMM

SHUWNK! Perfect bulls-eye. I've gotten a lot better in the last two months. I still can't beat Temari or Kankuro, though I've tried every day. I haven't see Gaara much since that first day, but I haven't stopped thinking about him and I don't know why. Something about the look in his eyes and the way his voice sounds on the brink of murder. I wonder if that has something to do with what Temari meant by him being bad knews. I pull out more kunai and throw them at the target. 3 more perfect hits. Wiping sweat out of my eyes, I look at the sky. Stars light the inky blackness. It must be a new moon tonight because it's not cloudy. It's never cloudy in the desert. How did time pass so fast? I came out here at twilight after training. A wind blows and sand swirls around my feet. Gaara. Thoughts of him eclipse my concentration. I can't train with a lack of concentration. I look toward the horizon. The slightest, almost unnoticeable tinges of orange and pink signal the breaking dawn. Time to go home.

MMM

"You will not escape," he says to the man, his voice dripping with murder plain in his voice. The man is encased in sand and with a twitch of Gaara's hand, the man is crushed, blood falling from the sky like rain. He catches me staring at him, horror evident on my face I'm sure and turns away. He carries on as if nothing happened. Is this what she meant? 'Bad News,' Temari had said. Is this why she told me to leave him alone? Would he kill me if I got too close to him? If I tried to talk to him? My instincts tell me to run away and never think of him again, but for some reason, it hurts somewhere deep inside to think of Gaara not being in my life. I know, I don't even really know him and I just watched him kill someone, but still, I feel drawn to him.

Crap! I'm late for training. I run as fast as I can to the training area. Temari and Kankuro are already sparing. I watch from the sidelines.

"Nice of you to join us Hanara," Baki says behind me.

"I am sorry sensei," I say, bowing slightly. He sighs and turns his attention back to Temari, who is standing over Kankuro triumphantly and he is unconscious on the ground.

"Good job Temari," Baki says sarcastically, "Now wake him up."

She kicks him and he groans, but doesn't wake up. She walks away laughing. I say and wake him up myself.

MMM

I've learned a few jutsu. A clone jutsu, a wind jutsu, a substitution jutsu, some basic Genin stuff.

Gaara shows up at his own leisure, keeping me tense and throwing off my concentration. I haven't improved at all, infact, I've went down hill since that day I saw that innocent get murdered. Why? How could anyone be so cruel as to kill someone who did nothing to deserve it? and does anyone deserve it? My father didn't deserve it. And as much as I hate him, neither does my uncle. Everyone should be allowed their own lives. So why does Gaara kill the way he does?

Time passes differently in the desert than in the forest. In Konohoa, time passed in seasons, but here in Suna, time passes in days and nights. Somehow, I like it like this. Time seems to run faster.

**Review **

is this a love triangle?  
gaaraxhanaraxitachi?

Lulu Macaroni

**Answer**

Somewhat. It's not so much as a love triangle, but different parts of her life. If that makes any sense.

**A/N—deep relieved sigh Okay, chapter 4 up. I know it's been forever, I beg your forgiveness, but I've had a lot going on. The conference was AWSOME! though. And I spent all last weekend writing 'thankyous' so I couldn't do much then. I wrote all of this in school. Please R&R, they make my day and a special thank you to vampiress22 for reviewing every chapter and everyone else who's reviewed…thank you too. Your reviews make my day and keep me writing. Even if it does take forever for me to get something up. I'll try to get something up faster now that I don't have so much to do.**

**MS**


	7. Chapter 5

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 5**

My first mission is a simple one. Transport an old woman to Konohoa. I don't necessarily want to go, but Baki is away on another mission and she specifically asked for four ninjas. I don't know why she needs all four of us, but she paid for us, so she gets us.

We set out at night because it's cooler and easier to travel in.

Gaara doesn't seem happy to be here, but then again, he never seems happy. But I can't help feeling that he is even angrier than he has ever been; and I can't help feeling it's my fault. Sometimes, I can feel him glaring at me, the intensity of his stare burning a hole in my flesh.

"Why does he hate me?" I ask Temari.

"He hates everyone, it's just who he is," she says.

"But why? You don't just hate for no reason."

"Gaara does." And we keep walking, not saying anything for a long time.

"You were from Konohoa, before coming to Suna, right?" Kankuro asks that morning when we stop to rest.

"Yeah," I say, looking at the sky. There are birds flying south. It's almost winter already. The birds bring on a memory…

_**Flashback**_

'_You are caged birds now,' my father tells my brother and I. _

'_Why?' I ask. _

'_Because, that is your destinies.'_

'_Why can't I choose my own destiny?' Neji asks._

'_Because your destiny has already been chosen for you,' he says. That doesn't seem fair, but father says it so it must be true. _

_**End Flashback**_

"Hello, earth to Hanara," the voice cuts through my memories.

"What Kankuro," I ask sighing.

"You look lost," he says.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Birds," I say.

"Birds? Why are you thinking about birds?"

"Because, my father once told me and my brother Neji, that we were caged birds and that our destinies had already been chosen for us, and I believed him."

"Do you still?" he asks. The question makes me think. Do I? Can I?

"I don't know," I answer truthfully.

We sleep in a tent to shelter us from the sun. Gaara keeps watch outside. I can't help but wonder if he ever sleeps. I'll have to ask Kankuro later…better yet, I'll ask Temari, Kankuro always changes the subject if I bring up Gaara.

MMM

"So, like, does Gaara ever sleep?" I ask Temari as we enter the forest. It's amazing how one minute you're in desert and the next in forest.

"No, he can't."

"Why not?"

"I'll tell you some other time, when he's not around." And she walks ahead of me. I spend the rest of the journey enjoying the coolness of the forest. The trees sway gently in the wind, the clouds float high and fat overhead, and the sun is a soft yellow orb in the sky.

"We're here," Kankuro says as we reach the gates. I look up at the tall stone wall I never thought I'd see again, let alone pass to the other side.

Temari showed the guards something and went through. Kankuro, Gaara, and the old woman followed, but I hesitate, what if they recognize me? I keep my eyes down as I walk past them and try to act natural. They don't stop me and when I get to a safe distance, I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Hurry up Hanara," Kankuro calls and I run to catch up.

The village looks almost exactly the same as I remember it. People hurry about buying and selling, delivering supplies and messages to people. We pass the Ichiraku Ramen Stand. There are four people sitting on the stools. A jonin with silver hair and most of his face covered is watching a girl with pink hair stare dreamily at a boy with black hair, and a cheerful boy with blond hair is slurping up noodles faster than I've ever seen anyone before.

As we walk on, we pass a flower shop with a bored looking blonde behind the counter.

When we finally reach the Hokage's tower, I realize my first mission is almost over and we've run into no trouble. I haven't had a chance to see what all my hard work and long hours of training has done. It's somewhat of a disappointment, but it doesn't matter, I've nearly completed my first mission.

The Hokage is an old man who sits behind a desk piled high with papers. He turns to face us and I get a good look at him. He looks nothing like the Kazekage. This man looks kind and caring. He looks me in the eye and I can tell he recognizes me, but then he sees my headband and I can tell he understands.

"You did a good job," he says, "now I understand this is Hanara's first mission."

"Yes sir," Temari says.

"I was wondering is I could have a word with her?"

"Of course," Temari says and her, Gaara, and Kankuro leave, along with the old lady who thanks us again before leaving.

I stand all alone in front of the Hokage.

"Hello Hanara," he says.

"Hello," I say back, trying to sound completely a comfortable even though I'm looking at the ground.

"Take a seat," he says, pointing to a chair. I sit.

"So you live in Suna now?"

"Yes sir."

"Do you like it?"  
"Yes sir."  
"Why did you do it?"

"Do what sir?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"Why did you leave?"

"I had to. It was too terrible in that house. I was nothing more than a slave. I was tortured every day, ever since I was four. Ever since father died and Neji turned on me and uncle made me look after lady Hinata and, and, and…" I can't continue through the tears. I gasp for air and he gets up from his desk and hugs me.

"I stole his headband," I say. He only nods and lets me cry it out and then dismisses me, telling me to rest up.

I spend some time wandering through town, looking in all the shops, stopping at Ichiraku to eat a little, and just taking in the sights.

"H-Hanara? Is that you?" the voice is behind me and I know who it is before I even turn around.

"Neji?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm on a mission. I'm a ninja now!" I say with a big smile and I hug him.

"How?"

"When I ran away, I ended up in Suna and they let me train to be a ninja."

"But…that's not your destiny…"

"Maybe it is. It's worked pretty good so far." He looks at me confused.  
"I'm deciding my own destiny now," I say.

"Hanara," Temari yells, running behind Neji.

"What?"

"We're staying here a few more days."

"Why?"  
"We're going to be transporting some important scrolls back to Suna and they need to be prepared." I look at her, unsure what to say. I turn to Neji, "Lets catch-up."

"Okay, but I was on my way to training."

MMM

Neji's sensei's idea of training is nothing like Baki's. The man, Gai, has a clone named Lee and they are both over enthusiastic and most of the training was solely based on taijutsu. There was a lot of running and pushups and other things. Gai and Lee looked like exact replicas of each other except Lee was shorter. They had the same bowl cut hair, the same green spandex jumpsuit, and the same huge bushy eyebrows. The girl on their team was name Tenten and she had brown hair in two buns and she looked at Neji like that pink haired girl at the Ichiraku looked at the black haired angry boy. Gai mistook me for Neji's girlfriend at one point and it took him a while to recover and explain I was his sister.

Later, we sat in the forest and talked about the way things have changed. We laid on the ground and looked at the sky as birds flew south towards Suna.

"I wish I was them," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's like I'm caged up, I can't fly, I can't show my true potential, and it's all because of this!" he ripped his headband off to reveal his curse mark I reached back and untied mine and took it off the show him mine didn't disappear.

"They don't go away, no matter where you go," I said.

"No."

"Are you still mad at me?" I asked him one day when we were eating at some barbeque restaurant.

"No. I never had a reason to be mad in the first place. It was just, everything that was happening, you were always there, trying to make everything seem better. I couldn't stand it, mostly because you were right." Tears filled my eyes and I smiled at him.

"I never realized how much I miss that place." I say as we are entering Suna again. When we reach the desert, the sand swirls up around Gaara as if welcoming him home. The sun feels good compared to Konohoa's near winter cold.

When we get to the village we go to the Kazekage so Gaara can give him the scrolls. Gaara carried them because they were safest with him according to Temari.

**A/N—Alright, sorry if this chapter seems rushed, my brother wants dinner and I wanted to get done with this first. Now that I'm done with this I can make dinner and watch ****Cry Baby****. You know, that awesome Johnny Depp movie. Love Johnny Depp! The next chapter will have some Gaara-ness in it, and I promise, it will be **_**a lot**_ **better. **

**And because I keep forgetting to tell you…WARNINGS: references to sex, slight swearing, teen pregnancy, possible character death.**

**Random-ness #1—I support the TWILIGHTGUY. **


	8. Chapter 6

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 6**

I can't sleep tonight because for some reason, I have a terrible case of insomnia. Lying in bed is driving me crazy. I climb quietly out of bed and walk down the hall to the balcony. The desert is almost as beautiful at night as it is during the day but it's freezing without the sun. I climb up on the railing of the balcony and look at all the buildings, houses, and shops. No ones out, the entire city is asleep. Maybe this is why I can't sleep. I have gotten used to Konohoa where the city never sleeps and there is noise all night, lulling you to sleep.

I look down and suddenly get hit with a severe case of vertigo. I try to lower my foot to the ground, but my other foot slips and I plunge toward the ground. I close my eyes and brace for impact, but instead I feel as if I'm floating. I open my eyes to see _I am floating_. I sit up to see that I'm on a sort of floating platform of sand. I look up and there is some one standing on the roof. It's Gaara. He brings me up and drops me next to him. I try to form some words to than him for saving me, but I can't. He saved me. This makes no sense. All I know, all I've heard about Gaara says that I should be dead right now. But I'm not. He saved me.

"Why?" is the only thing I can manage as I look at his pale white face, almost glowing in the moonlight. He doesn't say anything, just turns to walk away. I scramble up and follow him. Te sand swirls up around my ankles.

"Leave me alone," he growls.

"Thank you," I say. A flash of soft emotion hits his face, before being buried beneath a mask of anger and hate.

"Go away," he says, letting me go.

"No, I want answers. Why didn't you let me die?"

"I could kill you now, if that's what you want, but I was under the impression that you slipped."

"No, I just want to know. All I've been told about you, everyone makes you out to be a killer, but you saved my life. Why?"

"I don't know," he says and he's gone. I make my way down off the roof and back to my room. I stop thinking about what happened. He saved my life, but why wouldn't he tell me why? It was like he was ashamed or scared or both of what he did. I look out the window at the full moon.

MMM

"Temari?"

"Yes Hanara?"

"Can I ask you something?" For the first time, she looks up from cleaning and sharpening her kunai.

"What?"

"I want to know about Gaara. Please don't avoid my question. Just tell me everything you know. You're his sister, I know you know." I know I'm begging, but I don't care, I need to know. She sighs and puts her kunai down.

"Okay. Let's go somewhere else though," she says, looking around nervously.

We go to her room and she closes the door.

"You have to know, this all started before Gaara was even born…"

I can't believe all the cruelty in Gaara's life. How could someone be so cruel as to attempt the murder of their own son? It doesn't seem so wrong that he kills anymore.

I spend a lot of time training and thinking of Gaara. I need to get stronger, I need him to notice me. I need him to see me as worth keeping around. My skills rapidly increase as I train until I can barely move. I sleep on the balcony every night in hopes of seeing him again. I need to see him again, I need to teach him how to love again. I only wish I could have known that boy in Temari's story.

MMM

**Gaara**

That girl is always there, sleeping, waiting for something. What is she waiting for? It confuses me. I'm used to confusion, I'm used to pain.

"Gaara," her voice is soft and it triggers something in me, something I've never felt before. Why would she be talking about me and who is she talking to anyway?

**'Kill her,' **Shukaku's deep hard voice whispers playfully in my mind.

"Not now," I growl.

**'Why not?' **

"…" I have no answer. Why don't I want to kill her? I want to kill everyone. Or so I've told myself every day for the last six years. So why is this girl any different? I feel the familiar anger rise with the confusion. I need to find someone to help me feel alive, someone to clear my mind.

**End Gaara**

MMM

I dreamed about Gaara last night. I dreamed I was talking to him, explaining something. I don't know what I was saying though. It was a good dream that almost ended in a kiss. Almost.

I know what I want now. I know I love Gaara and that I need him. I need a plan, something better than sitting on the balcony, waiting for him to show up. I doubt he even knows I exist. I doubt he knows he exists most of the time.

**A/N—Sorry it's so short, but at least it's something. And there was GAARA!! I'm also sorry I basically skipped Gaara's whole past, but I figure you all know it by now. Please review, it makes my day and makes me want to write more. And just as a matter of interest, has anyone read ****Twilight**** by Stephenie Meyer?**


	9. Chapter 7

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 7**

I have to figure something out and fast. Everyday that Gaara passes me without the slightest acknowledgement is pure torture, pushing me to train a hundred times harder than the day before. I can easily beat Kankuro now and I can beat Temari too, just not as easily. Baki seems impressed with me and my progress, but Gaara still never notices me. I still sleep on the balcony every night; even though I know it's a lost cause.

I spend a lot of my free time walking around the village and thinking of new ways to get Gaara to notice me. It's an obsession and I'm not afraid to admit it…to myself.

MMM

"You've improved a lot," Temari says. I look up from sharpening my kunai to grin at her.

"Thanks," I say.

"It's for Gaara isn't it," she says. Crap. How did she figure it out?

"No," I lie casually.

"Don't lie to me Hanara, you're really bad at it," she says, packing up her stuff.

"I'm not," I say.

"Okay, don't tell me the truth, but just so you know, everyone sees the way you look at him," she says and leaves.

The way I look at him? What way I look at him? I sigh and finish cleaning up my things and going to my room. I lay on the bed that hasn't been used in months. I sigh and stare at the ceiling. Is it really that obvious to everyone that I love Gaara? Maybe Temari is just really perceptive. Yeah, right, it's totally obvious.

MMM

**Gaara**

That girl. She's everywhere, always staring, always at me. She trains twice as hard as before, beating Temari and Kankuro like she's been doing this for years rather than months. She still sleeps on that balcony. Every night. More than once I've tried to kill her, but every time, I couldn't bring myself to do it. That stupid Shukaku laughs at me at all ours of the day. The anger is evident in the rising numbers of Suna's death toll. Why can't I kill her? I want answers. I need answers. Now.

MMM

A full moon. I hate this time of the month. It's harder to control the Shukaku. I need to control him. I can't lose my control; it's the only thing I have left.

**End Gaara**

MMM

I have to do it and I have to do it soon. I have to talk to him or I'm going to drive myself crazy! The only problem is, I don't know where he is at the moment. I've been wandering the village for hours, and all I've gotten is a sun burn. I'm going to find that stuff Temari gave me later.

People are starting to recognize me and say hi when I pass them on the street, but I know better than to get close to them because tomorrow, they may not be here.

Someone comes running from an alley looking terrified, like he saw a ghost or something. I look in the direction he came from and everyone is avoiding the opening to the alley like their death lurks just inside it. Maybe it does.

I make my way cautiously toward the alley, trying to ignore all the whispers about my sanity, and I peek inside. Sand comes crawling out toward me and I can't help but make a little squeaking noise. It coils around my ankles and pulls me in. Ouch. Who know sand could be so painful? My heart pounds in my ears and I realize I may have just walked into my own death. But somewhere, in the back of my mind, I don't care, I know that this is what I want, to have just _one_ more chance to talk to Gaara. Before I know it, I'm at his feet, staring up at his perfect face framed by rust colored hair and home to the most beautiful aquamarine eyes anyone could dream of. Yup, it was obvious I like him, probably even to him. Funny how this is what I think about when I'm facing certain death.

"What do you want?" Gaara snarls from above me.

"To talk," I say matter-of-factly.

"Why?"

"Because, that's what people do, they talk." How sheltered is he?

I growls a little and then I'm being pulled along by the sand behind him like some kind of prisoner. I close my eyes and try to enjoy the ride, doing my best to ignore the pain of sand rubbing on my burned skin. When we stop, I open my eyes and Gaara looms over me, the sun golden behind him, making him look twice as beautiful as he did before. I tear my eyes away from him and look around. It's all sand, there's no sign of the village on any of the horizons. He brought me out into the desert. He really is going to kill me.

"Why?" he asks, not looking at me.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to talk to me?"

"Because…you seem lonely."

"Lonely," he seems to be testing out the word as if he's never heard it before.

"You know, like alone. You don't seem to have anyone who cares about you. Why?"

"Why?" he repeats.

"Yeah. Why don't you have any friends? Why is your family so afraid of you? Why do the villagers avoid you like the plague?" I decided I should pretend I don't already know.

"Hate," he says. His voice is hard and strained, like he's trying to hold back.

"Hate? Hate is a strong word," I say.

"Everyone hates. Everyone hates me. They all deserve to die."

"So I deserve to die?"

"…"

"Why does everyone deserve to die? What did they do?"

"Hate." Okay, this boy is incredibly repetitive.

"You don't have to play their game. You can show them love, no matter what. Who cares what they think?"

"Love? There is no such thing," he says it like an absolute truth that no one can argue.

"Yes there is." I stand up and face him, looking into his eyes, not blinking just like him.

"No."

"You have it tattooed on your forehead and yet you tell me it doesn't exist."

"Don't try to sell me your love crap. It's a lie. Love, family, friends, all lies."

"Why? How can you believe such things and go on living?"

"I must exist. If I cease to exist, they win. They can't win."

"But they're winning now. They want you to be in pain. They want you to think love is an unneeded lie. It's how they beat you."

He turns away from me, looking out into the vast expanse of desert all around us. I take a few steps toward him before the sand catches me and keeps me in place. He doesn't turn around to face me and he doesn't say anything, just stares at the never ending sea of sand. I try to move, but the sand around my ankles is like steel cuffs, keeping me prisoner.

"Why won't you let me go?" I ask, sounding small and scared.

"Why don't you leave me alone?" he asks, sounding genuinely confused.

"I've tried. I can't. I need you."  
"I don't need anyone. You don't need me."

"You're wrong, and you know it. I can hear it in your voice. You need me as much as I need you."

"Stop!" he growls as he whirls around to face me.

"Not until you admit you need me," I say. It sounds braver than it feels.

He comes toward me slowly and leans in close, his nose barely an inch from mine. My breathing becomes ragged and my heart begins to beat overtime. I can feel the warm tickle of his breath on my lips my mind shuts down and I don't know what's going on anymore.

"Love doesn't exist," he says unconvincingly and then there is no more room between us. I think my heart completely stops and I don't know what to think anymore. I'm lost in the warm, rough feeling of his chapped lips on mine. And then it all stops and I'm lying on the ground, dazed and confused. Gaara's nowhere to be seen. Did I just imagine all this? No. I couldn't have. It was all too real.

**A/N—Yay! A new chapter! If this seems to be moving too fast, just tell me. I also have exams all next week, so don't be surprised if you don't hear from me for longer than usual. Two weeks at the most, depending on how hard they are and what plans I make for after school. As for why it was such a long wait for this…for the last few weeks, I was practicing this presentation my SADD group put on for fifth graders on how to say 'no' to pressuring situations so I had no time to do anything else.**

**Vampiress22 and all the other Twilight Movie Doubters—You should give to movie a chance. Check out some of the stuff on YouTube like the Meet the Cast, The ET clip, The trailer, and the scene coming on the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday June 1****st****. From what I've seen it's really going to rock!**

**Anyway, please be patient and let me get my brain back in order after exams. I should be able to post a lot more once summer starts. Love you all, please Review, it makes me happy and write a lot more a lot faster!**


	10. Chapter 8

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 8**

The funny thing about reality is that sometimes, it feels like a dream. I don't know how I found the village again; I was in a haze for hours. There must have been a smile plastered on my face the whole time. People must have whispered about what happened. They all have a version of the story. They all heard the story about how I was dragged away by that 'monster' and they all assumed me dead. Didn't they realize it was all their fault? That they created the 'monster' they all knew and feared. I now know that under all that murderous intent, Gaara is still just an innocent child, curled up in the dark, crying.

MMM

"Oh, what happened to you?" Temari shrieks as I walk in the door. Kankuro is hovering just behind her. They both look thoroughly terrified.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I say, the haze evaporating abruptly.

"But…Gaara…and you…everyone," she stutters, trying to make a coherent sentence.

"I'm okay guys, really. Me and Gaara just and a little talk." I don't say anything about our kiss, like most girls would (I'm no gossip), that's something secret, something private between me and him. Temari and Kankuro don't know what to think, judging by the expressions on their faces.

"Don't worry guys, I'm okay, can't you tell?"

But your arms," Temari says, gesturing toward the burns and scrapes.

"I got sunburn," I say, choosing to ignore the scrapes.

"Do you still have the stuff I gave you?" she asks.

"Yeah, I think I'll go put some on." I leave the room as fast as I can and lock the door to my room. I search through all my junk. I spread it all over my arms and shoulders and put the rest away. I lay on my stomach to avoid rubbing it all off.

"You can make him love you," I tell myself, trying to dispel the doubt in my mind. There's no going back now, not after I've had him, not after I've tasted him. Not after I've been so close to him.

I wonder where he went in such a hurry.

MMM

**Gaara**

What happened? All my carefully constructed control gone in the blink of an eye. All because of _her_, that girl.

"Hanara," it feels weird in my mouth. It's something I've never felt before, and somehow, I like it.

**"You must kill her," **the Shukaku speaks in my head. He is serious for the first time in years. The playful teasing nature gone. I am going against ever word told me.

"No, I won't," I growl back. I could never do it, even if I tried. She doesn't treat me like the others. Like a monster to be feared and hated. She treats me like another person. If she were gone, I would be alone again. Why would I kill her?

**"Because everyone deserves to die," **the Shukaku reminds me.

"If it weren't for her, I would believe you," I say. How could someone so innocent deserve such a fate?

**"She's not as innocent as she looks," **the Shukaku says lightly, mocking.

Something rises inside me, threatening to take me over and it takes everything I have to swallow it back down. I want to kill, I need to kill, a red haze fills my vision, but I can't do it. I have to find her again.

"Hanara," I say and my face pulls up into a smile for the first time in six years.

**End Gaara**

MMM

I sleep on the balcony again. I have renewed faith Gaara will show up. The sun sets, but no moon rises, only stars, a new moon, and the temperature drops. I pull my blanket around me and shiver.

"You should go inside if you're cold," Gaara's rough voice comes from above me. My heart stops for a second before going into overdrive.

"I'm not cold," I lie.

"Then why were you shivering?"

"I don't know," I lie again. I can tell he doesn't believe me and I can tell he's hurt by the fact I won't tell him the truth.

"Okay, fine. I was waiting for you. Like I do every night," I say, somewhat harshly.

"Waiting…for…me?" the confusion is evident in his voice and on his face.

"Why else would I be out here every night? Because I like the hardness of the balcony and the cold of the desert night?" I say sarcastically. I know it's not nice, but it's part of my nature.

Sand brushes my cheek, rough and shifting unevenly. It feels good and I close my eyes. Then it is no longer sand, but Gaara's hand tracing my face. I open my eyes to see Gaara studying me, his hand making it's way up into my hair. I let him do as he pleases, because every time he touches me, it sends shivers through me. His hand goes back down my face and then my throat and continues down. I start getting nervous, no one's ever touched me this way and I don't know how I'll react. His hands pass over my developing chest and then down my stomach, my right leg, and up my left. Then his hands are gone. I open my eyes to look at him.

"Why do you wait for me?" he asks, bringing the conversation back.

"I've already told you, I need you. I can't stay away from you."

"Why?"

"I don't know, okay."

"You're not like them," he says amused.

"I hope not," I say, "I don't want to be anything like them."

He reaches out and runs a single finger down my cheek and over my bottom lip. A shudder shakes my body and the expression on his face changes from confused amusement to anger in a split second.

"You're afraid?" he snarls; standing up, the sand swirls around him.

"No, no," I say, standing up as well, preparing for his anger.

"Then why do you keep shaking?" he asks, his voice low and furious.

"Because it felt good," I try to explain.

"It…felt…good?"

"Yes, that happens sometimes when something feels good," I say, taking a step toward him. He tenses slightly.

"Don't worry," I say, running my thumb over his lips. He shudders just as I did.

"See," I say, pulling my hand away slowly.

"Why?" his ever famous question, it's like no one cared enough to teach him about life.

"I don't know, it just happens, but it's a good thing. Gaara, know I'll never be afraid of you unless you give me reason to."

He grabs my wrist and pulls me closer. The sudden closeness takes my breath away. He leans even closer, looking like he want's to do something, but is unsure of my reaction.

"Don't be afraid," I whisper, my breathing heavy. His lips press to my timidly and I panic slightly, afraid he might disappear again. I wrap my arms around him, as if it might keep him here if he decides to leave and deepen the kiss. His tongue brushes over my lips and I open them, letting him in. Our tongues dance and my mind won't stay away from how good he tastes and if I'm doing this right and what he's thinking; then he breaks the kiss and I realize how much I need air.

"Love," Gaara breathes into my face. A shudder runs through me again and he looks at me, his eyes making my heart feel like it's melting.

"It felt good?" he asks.

"Very," I say. I sit down, pulling him down nest to me. I move myself closer to him and lean my head on his shoulder, looking at the sky, clear as always, the stars watching silently, all knowing.

"How long do you think it goes on for?" I ask without thinking.

"What?"

"The sky," I say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"A long way, forever I guess," he says.

"Do you miss it?" he asks.

"What?" I ask, the way he's staring at me is making me nervous and fidgety.

"Konohoa, your family."

"Oh. Not really. Well maybe Neji, but I like it here more. I have a chance to be something. A chance at happiness."

"I wish I had a chance at happiness," Gaara says thoughtfully.

"You do. I'm here now. Together, we'll show them all. Everyone who ever doubted us or aspired to make us miserable. We'll teach them."

He bends down and kisses me with even move fire and urgency than before. I press myself to his chest, my arms thrown around his neck. My entire body screaming for me to get closer to him. I can feel myself getting lightheaded and I realize it's because I need to breathe.

"Gaara," I breathe out. There are so many things I want to say to him, but I know I'd never be able to make them sound right. I bury my face in his chest and close my eyes. For the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to be at peace with everything.

I open my eyes and realize that I am no longer in Gaara's arms. I sit up and look around.

"I'm sorry, I have to leave," he says from somewhere above me, "be here tonight."

"I will," I promise and then I know he's gone.

**A/N- I know there's no excuse for this taking so long to get up, but I've been lazy. School's finally out and I'll have more time to work, but I can't make any promises.**

**Every summer I have a theme of movies to watch to pass some of my free time. This summer the theme is Johnny Depp movies. So far I've watched **_**Edward Scissorhands, Benny and Joon, Ed Wood, **_**and**_** What's Eating Gilbert Grape. **_** They're all really good, so go watch them if you haven't seen them already and if you're a big Johnny Depp fan, I suggest watching The Hillywood show on Youtube.**

**Thank you for being patient and waiting and I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. It really helps if people review along with adding the story to their favorites; I love to know what my readers think. **


	11. Chapter 9

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 9**

I walk back into the house and go into my room. For the first time in a long time, I'm truly happy. I know things are going to be different now. I won't be able to show my true self in public, I'll have to pretend I feel nothing for him, and he will pretend too. No one can know, no one needs to know.

MMM

I knew everything was going to change, but still, nothing prepared me for this. The looks from the people at breakfast are full of fear and loathing. When I finish, I leave the table and the house. Stares follow me down the street, accompanied by whispers of the most untrue bull crap imaginable. I try to ignore them and shut it all out, but the anger keeps building and the tears threaten to spill over.

Why do they talk this way? How did they find out? I'm beginning to understand Gaara more and more. The people of this village are cruel and unaccepting and I can't help but think the blame can be put on the Kazekage.

I walk out of the village and into the unforgiving, yet deeply empty desert. The sun beats down mercilessly as I try to hold myself together. Tears begin to spill over and I give up on holding it together and allow myself to collapse in the sand. I begin to sob, the sound wretched and pitiful, the exact match to my feelings. I pull my knees up to my chest and let the sobs take over. I don't know how long I sit here, but it doesn't matter. Going back there right now would be unbearable.

"I'm sorry," Gaara apologizes from somewhere behind me.

"Gaara," I sob out. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I want to hate him the way the villagers do; but I can't. I know deep down that he's the only one whose approval I need.

His arms wrap around me.

"I'm sorry," he whispers again. He sounds as hurt as I feel.

"Why?" it's my turn to ask the famous question.

"Because it's my fault they hate you. They know about us now and, as always, the fear turned to hate."

"Do you love me Gaara?" I ask. His breathing stops for a moment.

"I…I don't know. I know I feel something for you; something I've never felt for anyone before. I'm sorry Hanara; I don't know how to answer this right now. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" his voice sounds strained and confused.

"Yes. I know, and I've never felt this way about anyone before either. But I like it," I say, most of that wasn't supposed to come out, but I'm glad it did.

"Me too," he says, holding me as I continue crying.

"You know, I don't know why I'm crying, I have no reason, I have everything I need."

"But it hurts. All hatred hurts. I cried a lot too, back then."

I bury my face in his chest, trying to get closer, to be a part of him. He rubs my back and lets me cry it out.

When the sobs reduce to sniffles, I push away from him, whipping the snot on the back of my sleeve for lack of a better place. Gaara reaches out and wipes away some tears.

"Thank you…for being here," I say, sniffing some more.

"Thank you…for not hating me," he says, pressing his lips to mine gently and then stands up, pulling me with him.

He leads me back into the village and the villagers glare at us. The tears threaten to fall again, but I hold myself together. He walks me home and goes inside. The people of Suna may hate Gaara, but they also feare him more than anything and as soon as the tenants of my home see him, they make themselfes scarce. He goes straight to my room

( I don't know how he knows where it is) and closes the door behind us. I break down again and he wraps his arms around me again.

"I hate being so weak," I sob into his shoulder.

"No, you're not weak, you're human."

"Please don't leave me Gaara, I don't want to be alone," I say, trying to catch my breath.

"I know, I won't. I could never leave you," the amount of truth and honest in his voice is overwhelming. I don't really have anything more I can say to him, so I cuddle up to him and contine on crying. He rocks me gently and whispers soothingly in my ear. I keep trying to stop myself from crying, but everytime I come close, I'm over come with a new wave of hysterics.

I must've finally cried myself to sleep, bedause I wake up in Gaara's arms.

"Sleep well?" he asks.

"Mmm…what time is it?"

"I think it's sometime around 7:30 a.m.," he says.

"Crap, we have training today," I say, jumping out of bed to look for my gear.

"It's okay, you can be late, I'm here," he says, clearly amused by my alarm.

"Really, you don't think Baki will mind?"

"He has no choice. You forget, _everyone _fears me," the way he says it makes it sound like a joke. I guess in a way it is, but it's still no laughing matter.

I take my time getting ready. It feels good knowing you can do anything you want and no one can really do anything about it.

When we get to the training area, Baki looks like he's going to yell at me for my tardiness, but Gaara steps up next to me and shoots him a look that shuts him up and turns his attention elsewhere.

Gaara helps me train and I work hard to show him that I am worthy of his attention. He praises me every now and the, but mostly he corrects me on what I'm doing wrong. I think I learned more today than I have since I started. Guess it all has to do with the teacher.

After training, before we all leave, Baki says he has an announcement to make.

"Okay. Soon, the Chuunin exams will be held in Konohoa, and I have signed you guys up to take part. Now, seeing as our team has four Genin rather that three, some special conditions have been set for you guys." He goes into depth on the 'special conditions' but I don't have a clue on half the things he's talking about.

**A/N—The next chapter will be a filler chapter and will cover Hanara at the ages of 13, 14, and 15, making her 16. Her being 16 will make it easier to get to the more complicated parts of the story. The next chapter will also include a recap of the chuunin exams.**

**Sorry if this is short, the next probably will be too, but after that they **_**should**_** get longer.**

**I hope to have the next chapter up by Monday and promise it will be up by Wednesday.**

**Please Review and tell me what you think, I love hearing about my story and what my readers think.**


	12. Chapter 10

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 10**

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF TEENAGE SEX**

**Hanara 13, Gaara 12**

So, I became a chuunin. No one else did, but Temari got her butt kicked by some kid with a wicked awesome shadow. It was kind of scary watching Gaara fight one on one. The first time it was with a kid with weird bushy eyebrows and a green jumpsuit. The poor boy nearly got killed. Of course Gaara won, I knew he would. Kankuro never really fought. He gave up; I guess it wasn't worth it. Maybe next year.

The whole thing got interrupted in the finals (but not before my fight), and a lot of people never even got the chance to fight. This guy named Orochimaru attacked Konohoa and the Kazekage was working with him. The Kazekage and Hokage were both killed. Suna is running around trying to find a new Kazekage that isn't Gaara, but they're failing miserably.

Being a chuunin means I spend a lot more time on missions, which means I spend a lot of time missing Gaara. Sometimes I get to lead missions with Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro on my team, but Temari and Kankuro have been ignoring me lately, but I've learned to ignore them back.

I spend every minute I can spare with Gaara, trying to lose myself in him.

MMM

**Hanara 14, Gaara 13**

So they finally gave Gaara the Kazekage position. They all noticed he's changed and he vowed to protect them no matter what. Even at the cost of his own life. That scared me a little. I don't know what I'd do without him. I asked him about it later and all he said was that he hoped it never came down to that. It was then that I realized, this is the way it has to be now , work first, love later. But still, more than once, I snuck into his office and stole a few hours. He's never complained, but sometimes I can tell he doesn't have time for me, so I sit and watch him fill out paper work.

It's not so bad though, our jobs, they keep us occupied when we can't be together.

MMM

**Hanara 15, Gaara 14**

Gaara and I have begun getting closer in ways we know we shouldn't. One day what started out as a normal kiss turned into something so much more. We were in his office, kissing like we always do, when something in us changed. I wanted more, so much more, and I could tell so did he. We broke apart hastily and, in my haste, I fell over his desk onto the floor. We stared at each other, our faces a perfect mirror of shock and horror.

We kept our distance, afraid of what the other would say. I thought about what happened a lot and the more I thought about it, the harder it became to breathe and the more my body reacted in strange ways.

After nearly a week of avoiding each other, Gaara came into my room. He sat on the bed and stared at me, his eyes hungry for something I couldn't put my finger on. Neither of us said anything, I don't know why though, I had so much I wanted to tell him.

After awhile of silence and awkwardness, he put his arms around me, still silent, but we both relaxed. He pressed his lips to mine and I knew something would change. He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes and I could tell he knew everything was about to change too. He kissed me again and pushed me down so I was lying under him. He pulled the gourd off his back and I realized how skinny he_ really _is. We undressed each other and I only wish I could've known where that would lead, maybe then I would have changed something.

**A/N—Okay, so I promised you this chapter today and you got it. I know it's _really_ short and I'm sorry. I promise the next one will be longer. And about the ending being in past tense, that was intentional, part of this story is memory and the other isn't. I don't know when the next chapter will be up, probably sometime next week. I'm camping for the weekend (Thursday- Monday) so it won't be until after Monday.**

**The next chapter will have Hanara at 16 and Gaara at 15 and the consequences of their actions in this chapter. **

**Please Review and give me your thoughts.**


	13. Chapter 11

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 11**

When bad things happen, they happen fast, but the consequences usually last a long time, or even forever. But sometimes, what seems like a bad thing can turn out to be the best thing to ever happen to you.

MMM

It seems wrong, the things me and Gaara do together, but it feels so good, so right. But right now, I'm too sick to even think about those kinds of things. I throw-up again and wish Gaara was here to help me. I stand up and wash my mouth out while thinking over my options for the day. Train or go back to bed. Bed. I crawl under the covers and curl up, trying to ignore my churning stomach. There is a knock on my door and Temari pokes her head in.

"Are you okay?" she asks, looking like she just wants to leave.

"No, not really," I say hoarsely.

"That's too bad," she says, "I'll leave you alone then. Hope you get better soon." And with that she's gone, hurrying away from my sickness.

My stomach churns again and I groan, trying to keep what little fluid I left in my body where it belongs. I throw the covers back and race to the bathroom to completely empty my stomach again. I _really _wish Gaara was here, he'd know what to do, how to make me better. Even now that my stomach is empty, I'm dry heaving and I try to get up, but no longer have the energy to stand on my own. I rest my head against the wall next to me and begin to take deep breaths, trying to get rid of the urge to cry. Gaara pokes his head in the door and gasps.

"Are you okay," he asks, coming to sit next to me.

"No," I say, leaning on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sick."

"Yes, I can tell."

"How am I supposed to know what's wrong? I woke up this morning and I was sick." I don't mean to be grumpy, but the sickness is talking for me.

"Maybe it's just a 24 hour thing," he says, rubbing my back.

"Yeah, maybe." I'm only agreeing because I don't want him to worry. In truth, I've been nauseous and throwing up for the last week.

"I'm going to get you a doctor," Gaara says, standing up. I try to protest, but instead, I bend over the toilet and throw up some more and Gaara holds my hair and rubs my back.

"I'll be right back, don't go anywhere."

"I won't," I say, wondering where else I could possibly go.

When Gaara returns, the doctor insists on me being moved to a bed. It surprises me that he brought back a woman doctor. He carries me to the bed a lays me down softly, causing my stomach to churn violently, but I keep myself from hurling everywhere.

The doctor makes me explain what's wrong and then stands staring at me thoughtfully.

"So this is the first day you've been sick?" she asks.

"Well, no. actually, I've thrown up everyday this week. This is the first time it's been this bad."

"Take this, it should help." She hands me a little white pill and I swallow it quickly.

"What's wrong with here," Gaara asks, hovering over her anxiously.

"I have an idea, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave so I can be sure."

Gaara looks at me and I nod. He walks out into the hall, leaving me alone with the doctor.

"Why did he have to leave," I ask, already starting to feel the effects of the pill.

"Because if I'm right, I don't want to be the one to tell him." She speaks nearly in a whisper, probably afraid he's standing with his ear against the door. He probably is.

Her hand starts to glow a faint white and she goes over my entire body with it. She stops at my stomach and nods to herself.

"What's wrong?" I ask, terrified.

"Nothing's _wrong _exactly," she says slowly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…um…congratulations, you're going to have a baby," she says sounding nervous. She waits for my reaction, but I don't know what to do or say.

"How long?"

"Around 2 months."

A baby? How? That's a dumb question. But how do I tell Gaara? He'll hate me.

The doctor puts her hand on my shoulder, "Do you want me to tell him he can come in now?" I nod, unable to speak. She opens the door and Gaara almost falls on top of her. In any other situation, it would have been comical.

"Take one of these everyday and you should feel better in no time," she says, handing me a bottle of pills and leaving hastily.

"What's wrong?" Gaara asks, coming to sit next to me on the bed. I look at the wall across from me, not wanting to meet his eye.

"It's so hard," I say, trying to hold back tears.

"What do you mean? Hanara, look at me and tell me what's wrong. You're starting to scare me."

"Gaara," I take a deep breath trying to summon courage but fear is still dominant. "I'm pregnant."

I can't bear to look at him anymore and I close my eyes, taking comfort in the dark, afraid to see what the light will show.

I can still feel though and I feel his weight leave the bed and hear the door creak open and click shut. Somewhere, deep down, I know it's all over. There's no way we can go back to the way we were and their's no way to change ourselves to make it work.

I curl up and cry, whishing I had someone here to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. But the only one I could ever want to do that is gone. Forever.

**A/N—Okay guys, please don't hate me. I know, it sucks, and Gaara's kind of being a jerk, but it's all part of the grand scheme of things, so hang in there. Also, I would like some names. Boy or Girl, I haven't decided yet. If you want to submit a name, do it in a review and please try to make it original, not Jenny or Hannah or Jacob or Jack.**

**Also, I'm working on a ****Pirates of the Caribbean****, fanfic right now called **

**Raven Swann Sparrow that should be out sometime soon, so look for that if you're a pirates fan.**

**As always, review and leave thoughts. **


	14. Chapter 12

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 12**

Temari and I had a long talk. I told her what happened and how Gaara left. I was numb, unable to come to terms with my loss. She tried telling me that it would be okay, he would get over it and we would all be one big happy family. I knew it was a lie though; I could tell by the look in her eye and the tone of her voice. I agreed with her and went to m room to pack. It's time for me to leave my home…again.

MMM

I'm not running away from my problems, I'm leaving them behind. Well, most of them anyway, my hand rests on my stomach as I look down from the balcony where it all started. I know he won't show up, but I still feel him. Tears fall yet again, but I wipe them away, refusing to shed anymore for my home or my love.

I jump to the ground and leave the town hastily, dodging the guard ninja's at the gate. I run into the desert and continue running. Of course, I know what this means. I'm a rouge ninja now and the village will do anything to have me killed, but I don't care. I'll find someplace to hide and I'll raise this child to go out into the world and live a life I've never been able to find.

I run until I can't run anymore and my legs give out under me. I pull out a blanket and a pillow and lay down in the still warm sand and go to sleep.

When I wake up, the sun is beating down on me and I can feel a burn starting. I pack my things away and take a long drink of water and eat a little before running again. My goal is to reach the forest.

It will be easier to hide in the trees and there will be less of a chance of being found. They'll probably think I died in the desert anyway.

After a few hours and rest stops, the trees come into view. It takes me another hour to get there, but when I do, the climate drops considerably. The cool shade of the trees makes it easier to breath.

I walk now. I know I'm not completely safe, even now in the shelter of the trees. There's more places to hide here. Enemies could be anywhere.

MMM

I wander around aimlessly, unable to think of what to do next. I guess I didn't have a very good game plan. Maybe I should have though this out a little more.

After about a week of nothing but trees, I sit down on a log and let out a small scream of desperation.

There is a rustling in the tree above me and I quickly stand up, pulling out a kunai and preparing to defend myself. A boy jumps down from one of the branches and lands in front of me.

"Whoa," he says, eyeing my knife warily. "Put that thing away."

"Who are you?" I ask, keeping my gun out.

"My name is Taro, Taro Uchiha," he says, putting his hands up defensively.

Uchiha. I lower my weapon and let my arm fall limply to my side.

"You're a Hyuga, aren't you?" he asks, looking into my eyes.

"Yes," I say, I don't want to give out too much information about myself yet, not until I know him better.

"Come with me to my house, you look like you could use a good meal and some rest."

I nod, accepting his invitation hesitantly. Some real food and a bed sound better than anything I've heard in my life.

We walk for about another hour before a small cabin comes into view. There is a woman tending a garden next to the house.

"Hi mom," he says to the woman. She looks up, wiping the sweat away with her forearm.

"Who is this?" she asks skeptically.

"Um, she hasn't told me her name yet, but she's a Hyuga."

"Hello, I'm Raven," she says, standing up and wiping the dirt off her hands and on her pants.

Raven. Somewhere in the back of my mind, it rings a bell. But I can't put my finger on how I know her.

"So you don't want us to know your name?" she asks me. I shake my head and look at the ground. I wish I didn't have to be so cautious, but it's in my ninja nature.

"Well then, I guess we'll just have to call you Hyuga until you feel comfortable enough with us to share your name. Okay?"

I nod and she turns around to go into the house. Taro follows her and I follow him.

It isn't much. A kitchen, a living room, two bedrooms and a small bathroom. I look around for all the places I can escape through or an enemy could enter through.

"Take a seat," Raven says, motioning toward a chair. I sit down and watch her start making lunch. My stomach clenches up and I remember that I ran out of the pills that the doctor gave me.

"Crap," I mutter, running for the bathroom. I lean over the toilet and vomit my breakfast back up. After I'm finished, I flush and rinse my mouth out, feeling strangely better, unlike last time. My stomach growls, empty and begging for food.

"Are you okay," Raven asks as I sit down at the table.

"I'm fine," I say, subconsciously putting my hand on my stomach. Something in the way she looks at me when I do this tells me she knows.

Taro comes in and eats lunch with us. He jabbers on and on about what he's done today and me and Raven just listen. I don't know about Raven, but Taro's voice is getting on my nerves. I don't know how she can stand to be out here alone with him, even if he is her son. Again, my hand goes to my stomach and I realize that I'm going to be a mom just like Raven. I'm going to have a child that I'm going to have to raise, most likely all alone. This realization isn't a pleasant one.

After lunch, Raven goes back to her gardening and Taro goes back to exploring the forest.

"Doesn't he know there are ninja's out there?" I ask as I watch Raven pulling weeds.

"He can take care of himself Hyuga."

"Hanara," I say, strangely feeling safe with her.

"Excuse me?" she asks politely.

"My name is Hanara."

"Your father was Hizashi, wasn't he?"

"Yes," I say, seeing a change in her expression when she says my father's name.

"I knew him, when I was younger," she says.

"So you used to live in Konohoa?" I ask.

"Yes. Until the massacre."

"How did you escape?" I ask, enthralled.

"I was away that day, taking Taro out of the village for the first time, letting him see the world."

"What about his father?"

Her face changes drastically.

"He died when Taro was five. I don't think he knew about Taro anyway."

"What do you mean?" How could he not know he had a son?

"That's a story for another time," she says, the expression on her face thoughtful and questioning at the same time.

"So tell me, what brings you out into the forest all alone?" she asks. It takes me a moment to determine whether or not it's safe to tell her.

"Well, it all started when I was twelve. I ran away because I couldn't stand my uncle anymore.

"I ran as far as I could and ended up in Suna. I fell in love with a boy there. His name was Gaara. He was the most feared person by the villagers because he has a demon sealed inside him.

"Well, we fell in love and everything was good for a few years. But then our relationship started getting out of hand, I guess you could say, and I ended up pregnant. He didn't take it very well, so I had to leave Suna too." By the end, I'm sobbing, unable to keep my emotions under control any longer.

"How far along are you?" she asks.

"Three months," I say, putting my hands over my stomach uncomfortably.

"Well then, well have to fatten you up for the baby's sake."

At dinner, she gives me way more food than I could ever dream of eating and Taro eats the leftovers.

Taro gives up his room for me, insisting on sleeping on the couch.

His bed is far more comfortable than mine was and I am asleep faster than ever before.

MMM

Over the next few days, nothing exciting happens. I get sick less and less, which is good. Raven says after the first three months, I'm less likely to get sick, which is probably the best news I've gotten in a long time.

I worry about Taro a lot because he doesn't seem to see the danger lurking in the forest. I've tried to tell him that could kill him and not think twice about it, but he just laughs and tells me I shouldn't worry so much.

One day, Raven sends Taro into town to stock up on supplies.

"Can you keep a secret?" she asks.

"Of course I can." I say, wondering who I could possibly tell whatever secret she is about to share with to.

"Good." She says and she's silent for a moment.

"I loved him. Really love him. But it was forbidden. We were from different clans. Clans that didn't share with each other. But we really were in love. Then his family arranged for him to be married.

"That last night we spent together was the best night of my life.

"I had to get married soon after that to cover up the shame and disgrace I had brought upon my clan.

"He died five years after Taro was born. I don't think he ever knew Taro was his son. He probably thought he was my husband's just like everyone else. It's not like his eyes give him away."

"Who is Taro's real father?" I ask breathlessly, knowing the answer.

"Hizashi Hyuga," she states calmly, staring off into the distance.

I nod. I knew it, but it still feels weird, having it confirmed. So I have a half brother. And I'm the only one in my family who knows the truth.

"I'm so scared," I say after a long silence.

"I know. It's normal. I'll help you in anyway I can though. All you have to do is ask." I nod, knowing that this could be my new home and wondering how long it'll last. Being with Raven is like I imagine being with my mother would have been like.

When Taro comes home, laden down with packages, I help Raven unpack the food and put it away.

"You know, I think we should add onto the house, it's starting to feel a little cramped around here and I miss having a bed," Taro says at dinner.

"Good thinking," Raven says.

"We'll start tomorrow," Taro says excitedly, like he's been looking for a reason to make the house bigger. Raven nods. I know this was because of me and I want to tell them not to do it, but they both seem so into it and I know we're really going to need more room once the baby is here. I guess it will be okay.

As I lay in bed, I can't help but think of all the things I'm going to need for the baby. Then it hit's me; I have no idea on how to raise a baby. Fear grips me and I have to remind myself that Raven does. I sit up in the bed and look at my stomach and notice the small bump starting to show itself. It really amazes me that there is a tiny little life in there.

I really hope I don't ruin it or hurt it or do anything to make it unhappy. I know that I can only do my best and I'll never be able to shelter it from_ everything_, but I can't keep myself from wanting to. I guess all I really want is to make it's life happier than mine. Much happier.

MMM

I follow Taro out into the forest the next day. He has an axe and I have a rope.

"So, do you want a boy or girl?" he asks ask we get deeper into the forest.

"I haven't really given much thought to it," I answer honestly. Really, I just want it to be happy and healthy.

"It'd be really cool if it was a boy. You know it'll be my niece of nephew right?"

"Yeah, you're mom told me."

"I bet you can't wait."

"I don't know. I'm pretty scared. I have no clue on what I'm doing."

"Mom does though. She's raised me alone since I was nine and I turned out okay," he says laughing.

"Don't worry, we'll help you," he says, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I know. It's still scary though." Gaara's face flashes across my mind and a wave of loneliness grips my heart.

Taro stops at a small tree and looks it up and down.

"This looks good," he says, swinging the axe, woodchips flying everywhere. It takes three hours for the tree to finally fall.

"Hand me the rope," he sasy. He ties it around the tree an dwe both pull it back to the cabin and then set out to cut down more. We get three trees down before sunset.

"Three down, seven to go," Taro says when we get back.

"We only need ten?" that doesn't seem like enough

"For now. If we need more, we can always go get them later."

My stomach growls loudly and Taro laughs.

"Looks like someones hungry."

Raven is setting the table as we come in.

"Have any luck?"

"Yup, we should be done by tomorrow," Taro says with a mouth full of food.

"That's good."

The rest of dinner passes in silence. After dinner, I go to 'my' room, strangely exhausted from the days work.

Thoughts of Gaara pass through my mind unbidden as I wait for sleep to claim me.

Ever since he walked away, an empty spot in my heart has appeared, like a festering wond I've ben ignoring for my own good. Tears begin to fall before I can stop them. I'm glad I'm along right now, because I don't think I could stand someone telling me it's okay. It's never going to be okay and I hate myself for not only ruining my life, but the lives of all the people I've held so close for all those years. They made Suna my home and I hurt them with my carelessness. Hopefully they will be able to move on and forget about me. Hopefully, they already have.

Sleep doesn't come easy and when it does finally pull me under, my dreams are filled with Gaara. I wake up crying and I can't help but wonder what Gaara's doing right now.

**A/N—Okay, sorry for the long wait, but I have a good reason! I didn't tell you guys, but my Grandma was in the hospital since January and she just died last week and I didn't really feel like writing anything. I'm all better now though, so I'll try to get updates more often, seeing as I have a few chapters already written out, I just have to type them. Please hang in there and thank you to those who left names, I have one all picked out with inspiration from some of the things **_**Vampiress22**_ **suggested.**

**I have posted a ****Pirates of the Caribbean ****story if anyone wants to read it. I only have one review and I'd like to have more before I update, so if you're a fan, please read and review.**

**Review and leave thoughts, it'll make me update faster.**

**PS- I think this may be my longest chapter yet! (6 pages single spaced!)**


	15. Chapter 13

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 13**

**Gaara's POV**

I can't believe she's gone. I guess it's mostly my fault. I should have stayed. She needed me and I left her alone. I should have comforted her. But I didn't and now I'll never see her or my child again.

Temari says to wait, she'll come back, Kankuro says I really blew it big time, and Shukaku says I should have killed her when I had the chance. For once, I have to admit Kankuro is right. But I was so scared and I didn't know what to do. How could I do that to her? How could I put her in that situation and then leave her alone to fend for herself?

It's times like this, at night, with no one around and no work to distract me that it's the hardest. I can't stop thinking about how bad I hurt her, how bad I hurt myself. I wonder what the baby will look like. What it'll be like, if it'll be a boy or a girl.

Tears well up in my eyes as I feel my heart trying to pull itself apart. I wish it would, maybe that would offer some release from this pain.

I loved her. I still lover her. For the first time in my life, I really knew what love felt like and I let it get away because of my own stupidity and fear.

I want to kill someone. I want to kill myself. Feel the sweet dark embrace of death and never have to feel this way again. But I am Kazekage and I can't abandon my village like that too. I made a promise and I intend to keep it. I know that if I bury myself in my work, I can make her memory fade a little.

I can feel the tears slip down my cheeks and hear the Shukaku laughing at me, but I ignore him, not feeling like arguing.

I pull my knees up to my chest, letting sobs take over and shake my body to its core.

"I love you Hanara. Please come home soon."

MMM

So I'm six months along now and it shows. Taro enjoys making fun of me and I can't help notice how different he is from Neji. Maybe it's an Uchiha thing; maybe it's how he was raised as opposed to how we were. I just hope my baby can be as happy and care free as Taro is.

MMM

"It's gotta be a boy," Taro says, his hand pressed against my stomach to feel the baby kicking.

"Why?" I ask, looking at my swollen stomach curiously.

"He's too strong to be a girl."

"Are you implying girls are weak?"

"It's just part of nature sis," he says, already walking away much faster than I can.

"Get back to work. I swear Taro, I could be inside helping your mom, but _no _I decide to sit out here and keep you company and what do I get? Insulted, that's what." I throw a piece of wood at him to make him get to work faster.

"Abuse!" he yells from the roof.

"Are you almost done? I thought you said you'd be done today."

"Give me another hour and I'll be done."

The baby decides now is a good time to send me running for the bathroom. I can hear Taro laughing from the roof as I half run half waddle my way to the bathroom.

"This is not fun," I mutter to myself, having just barely made it.

Instead of taking more of Taro's crap, I help Raven clean the house. I'll do anything she deems safe enough. Dusting, dishes, laundry, anything to be up and moving.

At dinner time, I help cook and set the table. Taro comes in bare-chested and sweating.

"Clean up and put a shirt on," I say, able to smell him across the room.

"You're not my mother," he says. I look to Raven.

"Clean up and put a shirt on."

Childishly I stick my tongue out and he rolls his eyes.

I sit down to the table and heap my plate with enough food for both me and the baby. Taro walks in the room and snickers. I decide to let it go, being the mature ninja that I am.

Dinner passes with some playful banter between me and Taro, Raven looking on amused. I can tell she likes having me around to amuse Taro and keep him out of trouble.

MMM

The new part of the house is beautiful. Taro real is a good carpenter. Maybe, if his mom wasn't a rouge ninja, he could go to work and have a family. I really feel bad for him, but I guess this is the way things are around here and I know this is how my child is going to have to live. It's realizations like this that make me hate myself for Gaara and the things I did with him.

The baby moves around inside me and gives a little kick.

"It's beautiful Taro," I say, putting my hand on my stomach to feel the baby kicking inside and out.

"Yeah, I did do a pretty good job, didn't I?" he gloats, grinning ear to ear.

"Nice. I try to give you a compliment and you twist it around to inflate your already swollen head."

"My head is not swollen," he says pouting.

"Your head is bigger than my stomach."

"Nothing's bigger than your stomach," he says laughing.

"You're mean," I say, pouting.

"And yet you love me anyway."

I sigh, admitting defeat. He gives me a tour. There's a new bedroom for me and the baby to share, a bathroom, and a playroom. I hug him.

"It's wonderful," I say, tears staging my eyes.

"I'm glad you liked it," he says, hugging me back as best he can.

"We're going to have to get stuff for the baby, like a crib, some clothes, maybe a rocking chair," I muse, looking into the bedroom.

"I can make the crib and the chair and you and mom can go out shopping tomorrow, it'll do the both of you some good to go out." He sounds like he wants some time alone.

So the next day, Raven and I go into town and look for all the baby clothes we can find that can look good on either a boy or a girl. We get some clothes for me too, ones big enough to fit me until the baby is born.

When we return, Taro is standing over a crib and rocking chair happily.

"They're perfect," I say, going over and running my hand along the crib's railing, perfectly smooth with no splinters. I sit in the chair, reveling in the comfort.

"Thank you so much Taro," I say, pulling myself out of the chair with some difficulty.

"I was just about to start a bed for you with the left over wood," he says.

"Thank you so much Taro, I don't know what I'd to without you."

Raven makes me go inside before I start crying and I collapse on the couch.

"I don't deserve this much kindness," I say, tears slipping down my cheeks.

"You deserve better than me or Taro could ever give you," Raven says, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

"That's a lie," I very nearly sob.

"Don't be so hard on yourself; it's not good for the baby."

"But, I've done so many terrible things in my life. I've lied, I've cheated, I've stolen, I've ever _killed_." Now I'm sobbing uncontrollably.

"So have I and look at what I have. You, Taro, and your baby. It'll all be okay Hanara," she says comfortingly.

I don't really have much more to say, so I lean against Raven's shoulder. We sit there like that for a while and I enjoy the feeling of having a mother. But then she has to finish unpacking the things we bought today. I volunteer to help, but she tells me to rest.

I curl up on the couch and fall asleep. When I wake up in the morning, there is a blanket on me and I can hear and smell Raven cooking breakfast. I can also hear Taro in his bedroom snoring.

"Feel better?" Raven asks, putting bacon, eggs, and toast onto plates.

"Yeah," I lie, not wanting to cry again today, even though it's pretty inevitable, with the baby messing with my emotions all day.

I can't wait until the baby is here.

**A/N—New chappie, YAY! I hope you guys like it. I'm couldn't resist putting Gaara in it. Oh, and I kind of fell in love with Taro, so don't be surprised if becomes an even bigger part than just Hanara's half brother.**

**I really want to thank all of you for all of your kind comments; they really make me want to continue no matter what.**

**That's about all I have to say for this chapter. That and the fact that I finished it at 2:00 am. Yawn**


	16. Chapter 14

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 14**

**8-9 months**

It's going to be coming soon, I can feel it. It's getting so big and it sends me running to the bathroom every half hour. It only sleeps when I'm awake walking around, but every time I lay down, it wakes up and won't stay still. Raven says that's normal and I should try sleeping in the rocking chair. I did and as soon as I feel asleep and stopped rocking, it woke up and so did I. so, needless to say, when I'm not in the bathroom, I'm trying to sleep.

Taro likes to tease me, saying this baby is going to be huge or I'm going to be fat when it comes out. He obviously wants it to be a boy because every time I bring up names with Raven, he rattles off boys names like there's no tomorrow. Raven likes to suggest girl's names. Personally I don't care, as long as it comes out happy and healthy and soon.

MMM

I sit on the couch and it sinks down considerably under my weight. The baby kicks, making me have to go to the bathroom extremely bad. Now I have to pull myself up off the couch with extreme difficulty and waddle to the bathroom as fast as I can and I barely make it.

When I go back to the couch, I fall asleep almost instantly, not letting the baby's constant moving keep me awake.

When I wake up, still groggy and tiered, I can smell dinner cooking in the kitchen and my stomach growls loudly at me. I heave myself up, cursing Gaara the whole time. I sit in one of the wooden chairs at the table and it creaks noisily. Taro snickers and I shoot him a glare.

Raven sets a plate in front of me and it takes all of my self control to resist devouring it as fast as I can. I eat as slowly as possible, still finishing long before Taro and Raven, but I remain at the table politely. I yawn and Raven tells me to go to bed, so I do, having no argument.

I lay down and blissfully, the baby is still. I fall into a dreamless sleep.

MMM

I jolt awake and lay staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what woke me up. The house is silent and I can't remember having a nightmare, I can't even remember dreaming. And then it hits me. A pain in my stomach knocks the breath out of me. It takes me a minute to get what just happened and another to figure out what to do.

I climb out of bed and make my way carefully to Raven's room. When I reach the door, another pain comes, just as bad as the last.

"Raven," I say my voice barely above a whisper. She doesn't even stir.

"Raven," I say much louder, fearing the next contraction. She jerks awake, sitting up and staring at me until she realizes who I am.

"What is it dear?" she asks, probably already knowing.

I open my mouth to tell her I think the baby is coming and another contraction comes. I have to grab the door to keep standing. Raven nearly flies out of bed to my side. She helps me into her bed, shifting pillows and blankets around so I'm half sitting up half lying down.

"Stay here, I'm going to go get Taro." I nod, wondering where I could or would go.

Another contraction hits and I notice they're getting more intense as time goes on.

Raven comes back with a half asleep Taro right behind her. He wakes up completely when he sees the mixture of pain and fear on my face. He runs over and grabs my hand as Raven gives him a chair to sit in.

"Don't worry about breaking it, just squeeze as hard as you need," he says his voice a frightened whisper. He sounds almost as scared as me. Almost.

The contractions come one after the other for nearly three hours, getting worse and worse, making me scream out for release.

"You've got to do something," I tell Raven after a particularly bad contraction. She shakes her head.

"Please, I'm begging you, there's got to be a way to speed this up at least a little," I plead as another contraction forces my breath away.

"Help her up," she says to Taro and he nods. With his help, I'm standing barefoot on the cold wooden floor as another contraction comes, making me scream.

"Come on, lets walk around," Raven says. We walk around the cabin, but it's slow going because I have to stop every time I have a contraction.

After about an hour of walking and stopping, I feel something inside me give way and then I feel something wet run down my legs and pool at my feet.

"It's okay," Raven says, obviously seeing the horrified expression on my face. "Your water just broke, you must be getting close. Let's get you back in bed and see."

I lay down and she looks at me where I would rather she wouldn't, but I will do anything to make this pain stop.

"Okay Hanara, I'm going to need you to push down as hard as you can," Raven says.

I nod and push. I can feel my whole body straining to get the baby out. Muscles I don't even know I had are screaming at me to stop. I let the breath I'd been holding out and breathe hard and fast.

"Again," Raven says. Once I've caught my breath, I push harder and longer, hoping the baby will come out soon so this torcher will end. When I finally release my breath, I can feel something in me change. I can feel the baby now, not just the pain it's causing.

"Just a few more now, I can see it," Raven says, preparing to help me get it out.

I push again, pushing my body to it's limit before releasing.

"Again," Raven says. I push hard and I can feel something come out.

"Good Hanara, you've got the head out. Two or three more pushes and it'll be over."

I push some more and I can feel it leaving my body. After one last push I feel all the pain and heaviness leave with the baby.

"It's a girl!" Raven says excitedly. She cleans her off and wraps her in a blanket before handing her to me. She's crying and I'm crying. I know it's because she's just as sacred as I am, her because she had to leave the only place she ever knew, me because I have no idea what to do.

"What do you want to name her?" Raven asks, coming to stand beside me.

I think about it, going through all the possible names.

"Yua," I say, looking down at the perfect pink bundle in my arms. She's finally starting to calm down and she opens her eyes. They're mostly blue white like mine, but there is some faint blue green in them too. When she sees me, she stops crying and stares at me. The most indescribable feeling comes over me and I can't stop looking at her.

"We'll leave you alone with her for a while," Raven says and Taro stands up. As they leave, I notice Taro's right hand is turning black and blue.

"Sorry Taro, thank you both of you," I call as the leave.

"No big deal, you're welcome," Taro says back.

"You're welcome," Raven says.

The more I hold onto Yua, the more I never want to let her go.

"Hello Yua," I say, tears filling my eyes. She blinks up at me and I can feel the tears slide down my cheeks. I'm so happy and scared; it's hard to decide which one is dominant.

Yua yawns and so do I and as if on cue, Raven comes in a takes her out of my arms.

"Get some rest, I'll take care of her tonight and tomorrow she all yours." I nod and sink into the bed. Now that I don't have Yua around to distract me, I realize how much every muscle in my body aches.

I groan and try to get comfortable and fall into a much needed sleep dreaming about Gaara.

_I am in Gaara's office, staring at him behind the desk and he stares back as he stands up. He walks over to me, catching my ankles with his sand. He begins to cry and reaches a hand out to touch my face, seeing if I'm real or just another hallucination. His hand goes right through me and his tears fall more strongly in a river from his eyes. I want to cry too, but I can't. He walks away, back to his desk and immersing himself in his work. The sand retreats and I run to him, nearly tripping in my haste. I reach out to him, trying to grab his hand, but I can't. It's like I'm a ghost, like I don't really exist anymore._

I wake up crying and disoriented. I feel so light, lighter than I can ever remember feeling and I can hear Yua crying in the other room. I jump out of bed and nearly scream. Every muscle in my body screams in pain and I end up limping into the living room.

Taro is sitting on the couch, trying to make Yua calm down, but she refuses to be calmed. She screams louder the more he tries.

"Here, giver her to me," I say, sitting next to him on the couch and taking her from him. He gratefully hands her over, but stays next to me.

"She really is cute," Taro says, his eyes shining as he looks at her.

"Mmmhmm," I say, staring at her too, I'm sure my eyes are shining just as bright if not brighter than his. She calms down to just mere hiccupping.

"Taro, will you go get a bottle?" I ask, bouncing her a little. When Taro returns, he hands me a slightly warm bottle which she sucks down if mere minutes. I burp her the way Raven taught me and when she burps she spits up a little.

"Guess she had too much," Taro says and I laugh.

"Let me help clean this up," he says, leaning behind me with a rag he seems to produce out of nowhere.

Yua stares up at me with tiered eyes and I take her to our room and rock her to sleep. I have to ignore the pain as I walk, hoping it goes away soon. As I watch her fall asleep, I can't help but wish Gaara were here.

I lay her in her crib and leave the room, limping slightly. I'm never going through that again.

**A/N—So now you know! The next chapter will skip 5 years because I'm no good at writing for babies (if you can't already tell). I'm not entirely happy with this, but I've never had a baby (much too young for that) so forgive me for any mistakes.**

**According to Yua means: (**_**yu)**_** "tie, bind" and **_**(a)**_** "love, affection". Just in case anyone was wondering. **

**Thank You again **_**Vampiress22**_** for providing the inspiration for this name. I chose it because Yua is the tie that binds Gaara and Hanara together.**

**If anyone is interested, I have a new Harry Potter story out about George's daughter and a quote from JK about how he never got over the death of Fred. This does not stick to the information JK gave us about who he married and his children, it is an OC story, very angsty. If you want to read it, it is called, ****This is the Story of a Girl****. (Or you can just click on my name up there and it is the only other story since I deleted the other one.)**

**If anyone wants to read some of my original work, you can go over to my FictionPress and I have some poetry and a story called ****Life of Avengance ****I just put up. I have the same name there as here (Miharu Sky)**

**Review and check out my other story, it would make me very happy. Thank you all. 3 Miharu**


	17. Chapter 15

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 15**

The first time Yua smiled at me, my heart filled with pride and joy. Pretty much when ever she did anything for the first time, my heart swelled to the bursting point. The first time she rolled over, the first time she crawled across the room, the first time she pulled herself up to stand at the kitchen chair. But when she started walking, I was scared to death.

I was sitting on the floor holding her in a standing position. She bounces up and down straining against my hold on her. Raven watched from the couch and Taro sat across from us on the floor.

"You should let her go, she looks like she'll be able to at least stand on her own," Taro said. I slowly let my hands leave her sides and she stood shakily for a moment before gaining her balance.

"Come here Yua," Taro said, holding his arms out to her. She took a shaky step and then another before losing her balance and falling over. I swear my heart stopped until she began laughing.

"Help her up so she can try again," Raven says, her eyes shining and a smile lighting up her face. It takes a few tries, but eventually she makes it to Taro. He picked her up and layed back on the floor, holding her above him. It always scared me when he did that, but they always just laughed and I couldn't interrupt their happiness, but I always hovered around them, ready to jump into action should anything go wrong.

Five years goes too fast, I realize as Yua comes running in covered in mud and grass and leaves from head to toe.

"Now what have you been doing out there?" I ask. Raven laughs from the table where she's drinking a cup of tea.

"Just playing in the backyard," she says smiling innocently.

I sigh, shaking my head.

"Looks like someone is going to need a bath," I say, picking her up and getting myself dirty.

"Awwww, I hate baths," she protests sticking out her lower lip and attempting puppy dog eyes.

"Sorry honey, that only works on uncle Taro," I say laughing.

I fill the tub with warm water and undress her. She climbs in sits down and crosses her arms.

"Are you going to clean yourself up or am I going to have to do it?" I ask her, putting my hands on my hips.

She doesn't answer, so I kneel down next to her and grab the bar of soap and begin scrubbing. She keeps pouting.

"If you don't like taking baths, stop getting dirty," I say, grabbing a cup and pouring it on her head. I wash her hair and pull her out of the muddy water.

I wrap a towel around her and carry her into our room to find her some clothes.

"Stay here," I say, setting her on the bed and knowing that as soon as I turn my back she'll be up.

I pull a blue dress out of the dresser and turn around to see her jumping on my bed, her towel in a heap in the middle of the floor.

"Come here," I say, grabbing her and dressing her.

I can't help but stare at her for a minuet. She looks so much like _him_ with her rust colored hair and her pale skin, but her eyes, she gets those from me and for that I am grateful. I don't know how I could look into her eyes every day and see Gaara. Five years has done nothing to numb the pain but has given me distractions so I can momentarily forget it's there.

MMM

"Mommy, let's go for a walk," Yua says, tugging at my hand.

"Okay, okay, let's go," I say, opening the door.

Yua's favorite place is the forest, she spends all day wandering through the trees. I don't like it but I promised I'd do anything to make her happy and there hasn't been any trouble out there in all the time I've been here.

She's been bugging me to go with her for some time now and she finally convinced me. She moves through the trees and brush expertly, always three steps ahead of me.

"Come on mommy, hurry up," she calls, getting antsy. I don't know what it is she is so adamant on showing me. She leades me farther than I've ever been before to a meadow I didn't know existed. It's beautiful, with tall grass and wild flowers splashing yellows and purples and pinks everywhere.

"I found it a few days ago and wanted to show you. Isn't it pretty?" she asks staring up at me.

"It's beautiful," I say, picking her up and swinging her around. When I put her down, she takes of running, spinning, and dancing through the grass. I sit down and watch her dance, happy and childlike. As I sit here watching her, I know that for once, I've done something right. She's happy, she's a child, and she has no real worries. For the first time in my life, I feel needed wanted and loved all at the same time. Raven and Taro and Yua have made this place my home, complete with a family I've never been able to imagine having.

"Mommy, look what I got you," Yua says, bringing back a handful of daisies.

"They're beautiful," I say, taking them out of her hands.

"Mommy, can we come here tomorrow with Uncle Taro and Raven?" she asks, looking at me hopefully.

"We'll ask them when we get back home."

After two and a half hours of running, dancing, flower picking, and butterfly chasing, Yua plops down next to me and yawns.

"Looks like someone is ready to go home," I say standing and picking her up.

As we're leaving, I catch a flicker of motion out of the corner of my eye and shrug it off as just an animal, but the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and something tells me it was more than an animal.

MMM

"Bet time Yua, say goodnight," I say after I've helped Raven clean up the house.

"Oh, but mom, me and uncle Taro were just going to have a tea party," she says pouting.

"You can do that another day. You need to sleep, we'll have a big day tomorrow wit the picnic and you don't want to have to take a nap in the middle of it, do you?"

"But mom—."

"No, bed, now."

"Awww, come on Hanara, just ten more minuets," Taro says, falling victim to her puppy-dog eyes again.

"If I didn't know any better Taro, I'd say you were eager to have this tea party," I tease laughing at the image of him in a tiny chair made for a toddler.

"Alright kiddo, time for bed, we'll do this another day," he says, picking her up and taking her into our room and puts her in bed. He kisses her forehead and whispers goodnight before leaving.

I climb into my bed as well and though I try to stop thinking about what I saw in the meadow today. I want to think it was just an animal, but somewhere deep down, I know it was something much worse than an animal. I only wish I could have gotten a better look at it, so I could tell if it was a threat or not.

I fall into a restless sleep filled with dreams of black shadows and red eyes piercing into me. I jerk awake suddenly and Yua is not in her bed.

Raven appears in my doorway.

"She wa up at the crack of dawn. Even earlier than Taro. She's so excited."

"Thank you Raven," I say, unsure of where it came from.

"For what?"

"Everything. I could never have dreamed a place like this could exist."

"It's brightened up quite a bit since you and Yua showed up. You've given us as much as we've given you. More even."

I unsure of what to say.

"Listen Hanara. You've come a long way since you first here as a scared sixteen year old ninja expecting a baby. I've watched you grow into a wonderful mother ready to take on the world."

"Thank you Raven," I say, my voice cracking with unshed tears.

"Thank you Hanara," she says and leaves. I brush away tears and make myself presentable.

I feel something deep inside me, a warning. I'm going to lose this. I've been here too long and things have been too perfect. I only hope that wherever I'm going, I can bring Yua too. I don't kw how I'd survive without her.

We spend all day in the meadow and I keep a watchful eye for anything out of the ordinary. It isn't until we're leaving, Yua safely in Taro's arms that I see it again. Since I was expecting it, I get a better look. It looks like a man wearing a dark cloak and I can hear footsteps. There's two of them, watch us, waiting for us to leave. I fear they'll try and hurt my family because no one suspects tey could be here. Nothing exists out here but us to them.

As we walk home, I keep my ears open, never once taking my eyes off of Yua, afraid that she may disappear if I look away.

MMM

As I tuck Yua in, I can't help but think about going to find those people in the forest, just to see why they're here, maybe see what they want.

I crawl into bed and stare at the darkness, trying to assure myself that everything is okay. That the men in the cloaks aren't going to hurt us, but it doesn't work. The more I try to assure myself the more I doubt myself.

I get out of bed as quietly as I can and leave the house. I find my way to the meadow and hide behind a tree while I assess the situation. There are no signs that anyone has been here since we left, but I still have a bad feeling about this.

"Looking for something?" a soft cold voice asks from behind me. I spin around to see a man wearing a long black cloak with red clouds. He has long black hair that disappears below a big neck band. His eyes, black as coals stare out from below a straw hat.

"No…I was-," I can finish my sentence and his stare nearly makes me faint. I steady myself and continue to hold his gaze. Something about him seems familiar.

"What is your name?" he asks, his voice sending shivers down my spine.

"H-Hanara," manage weakly, trying to place where we met before.

"You're a Hyuga?"

"Y-yes." And then it hits me.

"I-Itachi U-U-Uchiha," I stammer out. In one swift movement he has his hand around my neck and I am held up against a tree, gasping for air.

"How do you know me?" he growls, though his voice keeps it's soft calm somehow.

"I met you when I was younger, I made a delivery to your house. You answered the door," I ramble on, figuring if I keep talking he won't kill me as fast.

"And what are you doing out here? Who were those people ?"

"Please don't hurt them. They're the only family I have left," I plead.

"Answer my questions," he says shaking me. His eyes briefly flash red before settling back on frigid black.

"I'm here because I have nowhere else to go. I am a rouge ninja like you. The little girl, she's my daughter. The other two are just people who took us in and gave us a home. Please don't hurt them, please don't hurt me, I need to be around for my daughter," I plead as tears slip down my cheeks. He drops me to the ground and I cough, taking in as much air as possible.

"If you are a rouge ninja, where is your headband?" he asks, pointing to his with the leaf symbol scratched out. The universal sign of a rouge ninja.

"At home. I left it at home." I am exuhsted and just want to sleep, hold my daughter safly to me and sleep.

"Get it, bring it back here tomorrow night."

I nod and he disappears in a puff of smoke. A shadow clone.

I make my way home and crawl shakily into bed. Tomorrow I will have to sever the only tie to my homeland and possibly leave this new home behind as well.

I look over at Yua and watch her sleep peacefully. I want to cry, knowing that if Itachi finds out it's Uchiha's living here, he'll probably kill them. Even Yua. How could anyone be so cold and cruel? I don't think I'll ever understand.

I fall into a troubled seleep and dream of red eyes and Yua screaming for help as I run to find her; red eyes watching me all the way.

I can't find her and the more I run, the softer he pleas become until they are nothing more than an echo in my mind.

All at once, I am sitting up in bed, a cold sweat soaking my clothes and sticking my hair to my face. Yua is staring at me from her bed, eyes wide.

"Are you okay mommy?" she asks getting out of bed and climbing into mine to wrap her small arms around me. I wrap her in a hug and begin rocking.

"Mommy just had a bad dream, but it's okay, she's awake now," I say. She looks up at me shocked.

"I didn't know grown ups had bad dreams," she says.

"Everyone has bad dreams. Even uncle Taro, though he won't admit it." Yua giggles.

"Can I sleep with you tonight mommy, incase you have another bad dream?" she asks.

"Okay, but only tonight." I pull her close and watch her fall asleep.

I fear what tomorrow will bring, knowing this could be my last night with my little girl.

**A/N—UGH, I HATE THIS CHAPTER, BUT HERE IT IS. SORRY ABOUT THE **_**REALLY **_**LONG WAIT, I'VE JUST BEEN LAZY, PLUS I DISCOVERED THE AWESOMNESS THAT IS THE TWILIGHTGUY CHAT SO IF YOU LIKE TWILIGHT AND WANT TO TALK TO ME GO OVER THERE MY NAME WILL EITHER BE 'THE VAMPIRE MIHARU SKII' OR 'MIHARU SKII'.**

**ALSO, PLEASE READ MY OTHER WORKS, I WILL BE SO HAPPY. THERE'S SOME ON HERE AND SOME ON FICTIONPRESS AND I WILL BE PUTTING UP ANOTHER ON FP SOON. THANK YOU ALL AND I'LL BE SURE TO UPDATE SOON!**

**PS- THIS IS MUCH LONGER THAN I INTEDED IT TO BE AND I PROMISE A BETTER CHAPTER NEXT TIME.**


	18. Chapter 16

Hanara Hyuga

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 16**

I realize that night has come too fast as I grab my newly scratched out headband from its drawer in my dresser. As I leave, Yua stirs a little, but she doesn't wake up. I try to leave, I try to tell myself that this is not the last time I'll see her, but I know that's not true. I kisser her forehead and force myself out of the room. I whisper good byes in the doorways of Taro and Raven's rooms and slip out into the night. It is unnaturally cool for this time of year and I take in a shuddering breath as I feel the cold crawl down my back like a living creature. My breath comes in little puffs as I make my way to the meadow, my headband clutched in my hand as if it is my life instead of mere fabric and metal. Maybe it is.

As I reach the meadow, I see a dark figure standing about fifty feet away, staring straight at me. I keep my eyes down cast, only now remembering his terrible abilities.

"Let me see it," he says, his voice feathery light and menacing. I hold out my headband, showing him the scratched off mark and feeling as if I am holding out a piece of myself, a glimpse into my soul to a complete stranger.

"How did a Hyuga come to be a sand ninja? Were you sold? Kidnapped?"

"I ran away," I say, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

"Ran away. And why did you leave Suna?"

"Because the only thing keeping me there didn't want me anymore."

"So you have no ties with Konohoa or Suna?"

"None," I lie, remembering Gaara and Neji and Temari and Kankuro.

"Then why not come with me? The Akatsuki could use someone like you."

"I can't leave. What about my daughter?"

"How old is she?"

"Five."

"Bring her along. Five is a good age to start training at. We could offer you so much more than you could ever have here. You must miss your old ways, as a ninja. You could have that back. You could give that to you daughter."

"I could never want to go back to that. I could never want to put my daughter in that kind of danger!" by the end, I'm yelling. I know I'm partly lying. Of course I want to go back. A part of me has wanted that back ever since I left it. My purpose has always been being a ninja, but Yua changed my focus.

Itachi draws closer and I back against a tree. He is so close I can feel his breath brushing across my face. The sudden warmth sending chills through me.

"You're lying. I can tell by the way your voice changes. You will change your mind and I will be here waiting because I will not leave here without you," he says, each word making me shiver and I realize it's not the temperature. I swallow hard as his face seems to get closer. The distance between us closes, though I don't know who closes it. This kiss is much rougher and more lustful than any I've ever shared with Gaara. There is no love as our tongues battle for dominance. Only seconds after we break the kiss for air, Itachi is gone silently into the shadows and I know this time he was the real thing, not just an illusion.

MMM

_'It's only because he still has your headband,' _I lie to myself as I make my way through the woods. As I get closer, my heart speeds up and my hands start sweating and I can't help but remember the last time I felt like this. It seems like such a long time has past since I last saw Gaara, so why does it feel like no time at all and my little girl has grown up?

As I reach the meadow, I slow down, taking my time. I realize he might not come, he may be a long way away by now, gone with my one last tie to Gaara, to my home land, to my family.

"Change your mind?" Itachi asks from behind me.

"No," I say turning around and almost falling over with his closeness and now I know my real reason for coming out here. Not for some stupid headband, not to join some club, and definitely not to go chasing the past with a murderous traitor.

"I want my headband back please," I say, my voice the strongest it's been since I met him.

He pulls it out of his cloak and hands it to me as if it's the most precious thing in the world. I tie it around my upper arm.

"Thank you, guess I'll be going now," I say turning to leave, hoping, praying he will stop me. He does.

"Going so soon?"

"Well, I do have a nice warm bed waiting for me at home and it would be a shame to let it go to waste," I say thoughtfully, still playing the game, wondering if he's in on it.

"I can make it worth it to stay here with me," he whispers in my ear, his warm breath tickling my skin and lighting my insides afire. I know what he wants and I know what I _need_, but I also know the consequences all too well and while I don't know what I'd do without my little girl, I don't know what I'd do with another child. Then his hands and lips and body are on me and my brain shuts down. As he begins to undress me, some of my sense comes back with the cold rush of air on my bare flesh.

"Itachi," I whisper, pulling away a little.

"What?" he asks, growling slightly. I can hear the need, the want, the rawness in his voice and it makes me want to give up and forget my worries. But I know I can't do that. I have to know for sure.

"Itachi, what if…what if I get…you know? We shouldn't do this."

"Don't worry," he whispers in my ear, sliding my pants off.

And I don't worry and I should have. I should have stopped him. But I was still young and very stupid and I let him trick me with his smooth talking and feather light firm grip and gentle loving.

**A/N—A little OOC on Itachi's part, I know, but I like it. I'm sure you've already guessed where this is going and that's okay, because there'll be a surprise. Try to guess if you want.**

**Replies to reviews on last chapter**

**Strawberries.and.Sarcasm- Gaara will most likely be back in the story at some point, you'll just have to wait and see.**

**Vampiress22- Thanks so much for the ego boost lol. And I really liked that line too.**

**Trausti- What about the twist in this chapter, and wait till the next.**

**WarpedTenchu- Thank you, the story will probably be different because Hanara is different after meeting Itachi.**

**Itachisneko-nya- No, I would never give up on this story unless people stopped reading it! But with school and all, I have a test or quiz every other day, so there's a lot of studying to be done, but don't worry, this is what I work on when I'm done.**

**Moonlitelover-I wonder too, I haven't worked that out yet lol.**

**Ms. Dragon- Here it is! Thanks for reviewing. **


	19. AN 2

Hello Dear Readers,

I have bad news and good news. The bad news is, I won't be updating until Christmas break. The good news is that I have part of chapter 17 written.

Why won't I update until xmas break you may ask. Well, it's because I am participating in nanowrimo this year and I need to put my full attention towards that when it comes to writing.

Now, if you want the first part of chapter 17 posted review and tell me and I'll put what I've got done up.

I'm so sorry and I hope to update nearly everyday of xmas break just for you guys.


	20. Chapter 17 I

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 17**

"Mommy, it's breakfast time!" Yua yells as she pounds on my door. I force myself out of bed, trying to ignore my churning stomach. Breakfast doesn't sound like the best idea, but I can't let them know anything is wrong with me. Not until I'm sure. I don't know what I will do if I really am pregnant again. There's no way I could tell Raven that I am going to have the baby of the man who killed her entire family.

As I near the kitchen, the smell of the food makes me want to throw up, but I hold it down for the sake of everyone else. I have to pretend to be okay…for Yua. I smile as best I can as I walk into the kitchen and take a seat at the table. I take a piece of toast and nibble at the edges. Raven gives me a weird look that I cannot place before looking back down at her food.

Yua is as hyper as ever, trying to get me to play with her. There's no way I can tell her no without raising a suspicion, so I do my best to play all the games she comes up with. I can feel Raven watching us from the house and I can't help feeling she knows something. Taro comes by and gives me a look before taking Yua's attention away. I sit on the ground, happy for the break and put my head in my hands. How could I be so stupid? Why did I listen? I should know better by now.

I look across the yard at Yua, I can't imagine my life without her, but I can't imagine life with another little one running around, I barely have time for Yua. I want to scream. I should have seen it, I should have known he was lying. I shouldn't have been so naïve. And now I only have one option.

MMM

"Where are we going mommy?" Yua asks as I carry her out of the house.

"I don't know," I say, trying to keep my voice steady and reassuring.

"Are we going to come back?"

"No," I choke out as tears sting my eyes and a lump rises in my throat.

"Are you okay mommy?" she asks, looking up at me with her big white eyes.

"I'm fine," I say unconvincingly. She wraps her arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," she whispers in my ear, sounding a lot older than five. I force my emotions down like I was taught, putting on a brave face for my little girl.

As I find the clearing, I realize Yua has fallen asleep. I smile, glad that she won't have to witness what I'm about to do. She doesn't need to see me sell my soul to the devil.

"So you finally came," Itachi whispers behind me. I swallow hard and turn to face him. He is not alone this time, there is blue, fishy looking man behind him, smiling widely with all his sharp white teeth showing.

"Do not mind Kisame," Itachi says, pulling my attention back to him.

"You lied to me," I whisper suddenly, taking even myself by surprise.

"And how did I do that?" he asks.

"You said I didn't have to worry, you said nothing would happen. Something did happen. I'm pregnant now Itachi and it's your fault."

He looks at me, eyes wide. I know what he's thinking and I'm hoping he's not going to do what Gaara did.

"Way to go Itachi, I didn't know you had it in you," Kisame says behind him. I don't know whether to be embarrassed or laugh.

**A/N- Here's the unfinished chapter especially for Hatori27 who asked for it. The rest will be up as soon as I get a chance (I'll try as hard as I can to get it up the first week of Dec. depending on what I have going on because my bday is the 7****th****)**

**Happy Thanksgiving guys (since I won't be around then).**


	21. Chapter 17 II

**Hanara Hyuga**

**By: Miharu Skii **

**Chapter 17 **

Part II

I look at Itachi and wait for his reaction. I swear I see his lips twitch up before he speaks.

"Then come with me," he says matter-of-factly.

"How can I? I can't just move Yua like that," I protest, even though this has been my plan all along.

"Don't worry, she'll adjust. She's very young. Actually, she is the perfect age to begin training.

"And what if I don't want her to start training? What if I don't want to curse her with that life?"

"But it is not a curse. Not if you know how to use it. And I can see that this is what you want, that you are only toying with me the way you believe I toyed with you."

I gasp at the accuracy of his prediction. Yua stirs a little and a small sound escapes her throat before she is still again.

"Alright," I say, "I'll come with you." I keep my eyes trained on the ground, trying to keep them from seeing me cry. It is not accepted ninja behavior to cry or show any emotion at all.

"I'll carry the girl," Itachi says, a touch of softness in his voice. I don't want to trust him with her, but I know I can't trust me either, I'm so tired and droopy I'd most likely drop her. I hand her over, barely able to let her go. She doesn't notice the transition and keeps sleeping soundly.

We travel for days, only stopping to eat and sleep. Yua is a little trooper, not complaining once about how long this is taking, but sometimes she'll fall behind so far Itachi will pick her up and carry her. I don't know why he is being so nice to her and frankly, I don't care. The sooner I can find a way out of this, the better. As long as he doesn't hurt her, he doesn't die.

I drag on, refusing to complain about all the morning sickness, and the sleepiness, and the constant hunger. I will not let Itachi pity me for any reason.

After an eternity of walking, we come to a stop.

"Kisame, wait with these two here," Itachi says and Kisame nods. I sit down, leaning against a tree and tilt my head back, thinking about how long it's been since I've had to do anything like this. Back then, everything seemed to be okay, like nothing could go wrong. But it did and-

"Come on," Itachi says, lifting me to my feet. He supports me to our destination against all protesting.

We walk into a cave, Itachi all but dragging me. I don't know where we went and I know I probably couldn't find the exit if I tried, but as we walked, I felt people watching us, heard whispers and rustling and laughing. He pulled me into a room, and put me as gently as he could on a bed. After a minute, I feel Yua crawl up on the bed and lay down next to me.

"Mommy, I don't like it here. Everyone is scary. Why can't we go home?" she asks, cuddling closer.

"I'm sorry," I say, stroking her hair. "I want to go home too, but we can't."

"Why not?"

"Because mommy messed up and now she can't go back."

She looks up at me, her eyes wide and sad.

"I can take you back though, if you really want me to. I'm sure they won't mind you being around," I say, my heart heavy at the thought of leaving her behind.

"Not if you can't go too. I want to be wherever you are. But what did you do?"

I hold her closer and fight the tears back.

"I can't tell you everything, but I do have a surprise for you."

"What?" she asks, wriggling away and looking at me excitedly.

"Mommy is going to have a baby. You're going to be a big sister."

"Really?"

"Mmmmhmmm."

"When?" she asks excitedly.

"In a few months."  
"That long?" she asks, looking disappointed. I laugh at her pout.

"It'll seem like no time at all," I say. "Now we need to get some rest, it's been a long time since we had a bed to sleep in."

After that, she stays quiet and snuggles into me and falls asleep. I drift off too with the hope that one day I will be able to get far away from this place to a place where we can live happily and peacefully. But I know that isn't in the near future for either of us.

A/N- Hi guys! So Nano didn't go that well, which is why you're getting this now and not in 2 weeks. I know it's short, but I will have the next chapter up by Dec 20th at the very most. I promise it's much longer than this (which is why it'll take that long).

**On another good note, I got a flash-drive for my b-day, so updates **_**should **_**come quicker now that I can type on my comp that doesn't have Internet (yet)**

**PS: Who saw the Twilight movie? What did you think? (If you don't like Twilight, please don't say anything, I don't like Twilight bashing, just keep that little piece of info to yourself.)**


	22. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

When I wake up, I can tell Yua isn't next to me anymore and I can feel my heart begin to pound in my chest as if it's trying to escape. I jump out of bed as fast as I can and run from the room. In the hall, I look both ways, trying to decide which way to go. I choose right and run as fast as I can. After only a few steps, I run into what feels like a brick wall. I almost fall backwards, but whatever I just ran into grabs me and pulls me back into balance. I stand fidgeting, glaring up at the person who dared interrupt my search for my daughter. He is looking down at me, a confused look in his mischievous eyes. He has blond hair that falls over one eye, hiding it, and he is wearing the same outfit as Kisame and Itachi. He smiles at me as he takes in my expression.

"They're down that hall and to the left," he says pointing. I try to thank him, but he is gone before I can register what happened. I follow his instructions and end up in a big room where Itachi, Kisame, Yua, and a few other's I don't know yet are hanging out. I run over to Yua and have to restrain myself from picking her up and never putting her down again. I hate this place and I hate myself for damning us to it. I sit next to her as she draws and hums to herself. When she notices me she smiles up.

"I like it here mommy, everyone is really nice," she says. I can't help but smile at her naïveness, but I also can't help but wish I could be that innocent again too.

I watch over her all day, not letting her out of my sight. I feel bad that she is not allowed to go outside anymore, and she throws a fit about it and doesn't quiet down until Itachi says that she'll be able to go outside soon, just not today. I don't like him talking to her, but it got her to calm down. I know what he meant when he promised her she could go outside, and I resolve to talk to him about it when she goes to sleep.

The day passes entirely too slowly and I hope that everyday isn't this slow here. There isn't much to do, and I don't really know anyone, not even Itachi and Kisame really, and that is disconcerting.

As night falls, Yua falls asleep on a couch and I pick her up and carry her into the room we slept in the night before. Itachi follows, and when I am done tucking her in, I spin to face him.

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," I growl out, remembering the promise he made me. He stares back at me, his black eyes turning red. He grabs my arm and pulls me into the hall. I try to protest, but he makes me stay quiet with one glare. I can feel his grip bruising my arm, but I don't say anything, refusing to give him the pleasure. He slams me up against the wall and presses up against me.

"You will not tell me what to do," he says, his tone taking on a edge I haven't yet heard. I try to struggle away from him afraid of what he will do to me.

"If you were not carrying my child, I would kill you now, as it were, I'll have to wait." He drops me and spins around in a flurry of robes and anger and disappears. I try not to cry, but the tears come as my arms throb and my mind races with what he just said.

"Are you okay?" the man from before asks. I look up at him.

"I'm fine," I snap, sounding watery and not at all okay.

"I don't think you are," he says, helping me up. I cringe as he bumps one of my bruises. He looks down at me and notices why I cringed and sighs and shakes his head.

"Please don't pry," I say, looking at the floor.

"I don't need to," he says. "I know Itachi. There isn't an ounce of goodness in the man. That's what makes him so good at being a member of the Akatsuki, he has no problem with killing, even the most innocent of people. He takes what he wants and if it doesn't turn out to be what he wanted, he kills it. You better hope that child of yours is what he's looking for," he says, opening the door. I go inside and he closes it, leaving me alone with my daughter and my unborn child. I collapse on the floor and sob, letting my pain shake me into sleep. This is the most broken I've ever felt and I try to bring back happy memories, but all of them turn into something bad. I go back as far as I can to the happiest memory I have. Sitting on the balcony with Gaara, letting him hold me while I sleep. Feeling his hands in my hair and his lips on mine. I long for those days again as I fall asleep and begin dreaming.

_I'm standing in Gaara's office, waiting for him to look up and notice me. When he does, he does not look as surprised as I thought he would and it hurts. He stands and walks over to me, the sand snaking out towards me. It swirls around my ankles, tightening like shackles. I don't try to move, not fearing him. He reaches out a hand and strokes my face as if trying to decide if I'm real or not, as if this has happened before. The sand releases me instantly and he pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly. I swallow a lump in my throat and keep the tears inside. I can feel him crying though, his body shaking with the tears. I stroke his hair, reveling in the feeling. We hold each other for a long time without saying anything. Then he pulls back and looks into my eyes and I see a pain worse than anything I could imagine, worse than what it used to be._

_"I'm so sorry," he whispers. I bury my face in him and cry. He lowers us to the ground and he holds me to him, rocking me back and forth._

_"I wish this was real," he says. _And I wake up.

I can't tell what time of the day it is, but I'm lying on the ground and it is very uncomfortable. I sit up and look at the bed. Yua is still fast asleep and I'm still extremely tiered so I climb in next to her and pull her close and fall asleep again. I do not dream this time and I wish I did.

The next time I wake up, it's because Yua is trying to worm her way out of my grasp. I release her and she turns to me.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," she says. I manage a smile for her. Again I notice how much she looks like her father and I feel a deep pain in my heart as I realize how much I miss him. I realize how much I want to go back home; go back to a place where I don't feel so out of sorts.

I crawl out of bed, and get dressed; making sure that my shirt has sleeves that will cover the bruises. I get Yua dressed too and we set out in search of food. When we get to a kitchen like area, I make toast for both of us and we eat in silence.

"Mommy, when are we going to get to go outside?" she asks.

"I don't know dear. I guess when Itachi says it's okay," I say, smiling a fake smile. She is quiet again after that, but she doesn't stop smiling. I let my thoughts wander to Gaara and the dream I had last night…

Gaara's POV

I sit at my desk, doing paperwork and trying to forget about last night. Usually night is my favorite time, but last night, I saw _her_ again. I saw her standing here in my office, looking hurt and scared and yet she still didn't allow herself to cry in front of me. I cried though, something I almost never do, even now; but I couldn't stop myself, I've been holding it in too long. The little hope that she is ever coming home is gone now. I just hope that her and my now five-year-old child are okay and that they are happy wherever they are.

I look out the window at the bright desert and watch the people go about their daily business. Children run carefree in the streets and I wonder what mine is like. I wonder who it looks and acts more like and I'm hoping it's mother. I also wonder if it is a boy or girl. I shake the thought from my mind and turn back to my paperwork; it doesn't help me to think about all the things I'm missing. I read and sign countless boring pieces of paper until Temari comes to give me my lunch. She is being followed by her new boyfriend, a boy from Konohoa, a relationship that they are fighting to have even though this boy doesn't seem like the kind to fight for anything. I don't much approve of him, he is lazy, but smart. Genius smart.

"Babe, can you go wait outside for a moment, I've got to talk to my brother." I hate it when she calls him 'babe.'

"Whatever," he says and leaves the room closing the door.

"What," I growl at her, knowing it doesn't do anything anymore.

"I've been thinking about them a lot lately," she says and I know who she's talking about because she talks about them near constantly. She refuses to let them go; I think she thinks it's good for me.

"And this concerns me because?"

"Because you still love them. You need to try and find them. It feels like there's something wrong with her. I don't know why though."

"I know," I say, dropping my shields. So she feels it too. "But I can't just go sending out search parties for her. They'd kill her."

"You're the Kazekage, they have to do what you tell them. Besides, I don't think your Konohoa friends wouldn't mind helping."

"I'm not going to ask Konohoa to help me find her. If she wants to come home, she will."

"What if she can't?" she asks before leaving.

After she's gone, I can no longer concentrate on what I'm doing and leave my office. I go to my favorite place, the roof where I first met her.

As I sit, staring into the endless expanse of desert, I get the nagging feeling that Temari was right and Hanara is trapped somewhere with our child.

**A/N—Woo, sorry if it sucks. I've had a lot of really tough stuff happening lately and this has really been my favorite thing to do to get away from it all, so some of the dramas of my personal life may have found their way into this one. I put this up a day early because I'm doing a little charity work tomorrow and I don't know how long it'll last.  
**

**Again I'm gonna do a time skip (don't you just love those?) to avoid long, dragging, over described chunks of nothing.**

**It's Christmas Break now, so I can stay up until 4 in the morning working on this. I'll try to update before Christmas, but if I don't…**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

**Review and tell me your favorite parts and the parts that could use some work.**


	23. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**5 Months**

I am quite obviously pregnant now and it never ceases to amuse me how amazed Yua is with my ever-growing stomach. She asks me everyday about the baby and I always have to explain to her I still have about four months to go before it's here.

"Can it hear me in there?" she asks one day.

"I don't know why don't you try talking to it and see?" I say and she smiles up at me and nods.

"Umm…hello baby…can you hear me?…I'm your big sister!" she says into my stomach. I feel a small fluttering, like butterflies and can't help but smile.

"I think it heard you," I say, grabbing her hand and putting it over the place it's kicking.

"Really?" she asks looking up at me, her eyes wide and hopeful.

"Yeah," I say, trying to sound happy as she is.

We only have moments like this when Itachi is not around. When he is around, he puts on a mask of kindness around Yua and some of the others, but when we're alone, he isn't so nice. The only reason I don't fear for my life is because I know he wouldn't hurt me because I'm carrying his child. The things he does to me are not things I'd ever want to share with anyone. I keep them to myself, continually hoping to get out of here somehow. I don't dream of Gaara anymore, though I do think of him a lot. The more I think of him, the more I wish I were with him. The more I hope that dream was my subconscious trying to tell me something; like maybe he still loved me, I was just too stupid to see that back then. But then reality sets in and I know that I'm just deluding myself, Gaara has forgotten about me, it doesn't matter that I want him back, we both mad our mistakes, but sometimes, it feels like I'm the one paying for all his mistakes on top of mine.

I sigh as Itachi comes into the room, looking angry and mean. When he spots Yua, this changes slightly and he tells her to go find Kisame and have him get her something to eat. She looks at me and I smile weakly back at her. I don't want her to go, but I know it'll be twice as bad later if I don't let him have what he wants _now_. She scurries out of the room smiling. I guess she thinks Itachi is being nice to me, that we're doing grown-up stuff or something.

I put on a brave face, knowing it's not something he likes to see; he'd rather I cower away from him like everyone else. He comes over to the bed and pushes me down, almost gently. I don't flinch at his touch, nor do I show any signs of fear or weakness, I am a ninja after all. I also don't look him in the eyes, knowing of the horrible things he could do to me if I did.

He straddles my hips, just below my bulging stomach and presses his lips to mine. I close my eyes and will myself somewhere else, to my happy place. I force myself to remain silent as Itachi has his way with me, even though I want to scream for help with everything I had.

As Itachi dressed himself again, the baby kicked, it was almost painful, but I didn't let Itachi know, I just stayed lying cold and broken on the bed. This wasn't fair, not to me, not to Yua, and especially not to this child. I know it'll never stand a chance if I don't get out now, but I don't know how, I can barely find my way around this place.

After Itachi is gone, I allow the tears to fall. I try to imagine myself with Gaara, curling up in his arms and forgetting about all this.

"Gaara, why aren't you here to help me?" I whisper into the emptiness of the room.

Gaara POV

I can feel Hanara calling to me; I know I'm not just going crazy now.

'_**You were **_**born**_** crazy,' **_my demon cackles inside my head.

"Shut up," I growl. He doesn't talk to me as much anymore, but he hasn't gotten any less annoying over the years.

The cold dark desert night stretches out endlessly before me as I try to think of a way to help the girl I love. Temari talked about getting the kids from Konoha to help and I know that Naruto would jump at the chance to go on a mission, from what I've heard of him, he wasn't doing much more than sitting around waiting for something half decent to do. I also know that the boy Temari likes, Shikamaru, would do anything for Temari (though he won't admit it). And there are others too, like Rock Lee and Neji Hyuga. Especially Neji, he is her twin brother after all. I make up my mind to ask tomorrow if they will help.

The Next Day

I'm on the train to Konoha with too many guards, Temari, and Kankuro. I will it to go faster and complain endlessly about how I could run faster than this. Everyone can tell I'm not in the best mood and just do their best to tune me out. I want to shut up, but I can't stop myself, I'm too antsy to keep myself under control. I want her home now, with me, in my arms. Something I've dreamed about for years.

Three days and two nights pass before we arrive in Konoha in the evening of the third day. I take in the cool air and the sweet smells of the forest. Temari and Kankuro don't look as appreciative of our new surroundings and the demon in me grumbles about the cold dampness.

I begin toward the village and the others follow. We make our way towards the tower at the middle, the place the Hokage lives. I can only hope she is still willing to see me at such a late hour.

After getting through all the guards, I am permitted into her office. She looks tiered, like I woke her up.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?!?" she asks as I stand in front of her.

"Yes, and I am sorry, but it is very urgent. I have a favor to ask of some of your ninjas."

"And what would that be?" she asks. So many inane questions. I keep myself under control with a deep breath. This sucks, the way _she_ makes me so angry against my will.

"Well, can it wait until morning, everyone is home and in bed and if no one is in immediate danger, I'm sure a few more hours can't hurt."

I look at her resignedly, knowing I'm at her mercy. I am after all here to steal some of _her _ninjas.

I bow quickly and leave. Temari and Kankuro, who were standing out side the door take one look at me and keep quiet. After we're outside, the cool air helps to stop the surging rage left over from the meeting. Kankuro and Temari are lead to hotel where they are to stay while we're here. I on the other hand, walk around. There are more people out at this time of night than I thought there would be. Not like the desert where everyone goes to bed when the sun goes down, but here, the temperature doesn't drop as drastically, so people can stay out all night and they do. I look for any of the ninjas I've come to see, but can't find any. I don't want to go to their houses either, though my reckless side, the part of me that will do anything to have Hanara back and safe again, doesn't care. I don't want to let that part win, but I can't help worrying about her.

"Don't worry Hanara, I'll be there soon," I whisper to the moon, hoping she hears me. Maybe I _am_ crazy…maybe not.

**A/N: haHa! I did it! I'm **_**sooo**_** sorry I didn't update sooner, things got kinda crazy for a while and I can't promise they'll calm down anytime soon, but I've got part of the next chapter (or maybe the one after I don't know yet) written in one of my notebooks. Please just be patient, I can almost promise it'll be worth it. **

**One of my biggest problems is the fact that I found something out about someone at my school (who I kinda have a crush on) and it inspired me to write an original story that I keep wanting to write instead of this, but don't worry, I won't give up on this one, not with so many readers and the ending so near. **

**Okay, I'm done rambling, Review :)**


	24. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**A/N: Welcome to Chapter 20 everyone! We made it to 100 Reviews!!! This makes me especially happy because I never thought I'd ever make it this far on any story **_**ever**_**. I've never thought of myself as a good writer (though I really want to be able to do it as a job someday) and Vampiress22 seems to think otherwise and I would like to thank her for all her helpful feedback and I look forward to getting more from **_**all **_**of you.**

**This chapter is dedicated to all those who love Gaara, it's all in Gaara's POV;)**

I stalk into the Hokage's office first thing the next morning, impatient and scared. I don't let the fear show though, I am the Kazekage after all and Kage are not allowed to show fear. Temari and Kankuro follow along with the guards. The Hokage is standing behind her desk, her back to me, looking out over the forest-surrounded village.

"So Gaara, who were you thinking of stealing?" she asks, a lightness in her voice that angers me; how can she be so careless when the life of my love is at risk?

"Naruto Uzumaki, Neji and Hinata Hyuga, Rock Lee, and Shikamaru Nara," I say, speeding through the words. She raises an eyebrow at me.

"Are you sure? You know we have much better ninjas than that, don't you"

"Yes, those are the ones I want, most of them can make this mission personal, and you know Naruto, he'll do any mission, especially a rescue mission like this one."

"Well then, I'll leave it to you to find them and tell them of their new mission."

I glare at her a moment, she doesn't flinch, and turn around and leave as quickly as possible. On the street, everyone stays out of my way. I am constantly scanning the crowd for any of the ninja I mentioned.

"Temari," I yell over my shoulder, "go find that lazy boyfriend of yours and come back to me."

She nods and runs in the other direction as Kankuro and me scan the streets for anyone we know. A flash of orange streaks across the street and up another one. I follow it hoping against hope that it is Naruto. I lose it for a moment, but find it again in the ramen shop. It is Naruto! I duck into the small stand and tell him what is going on, beg him to help me find her. He agrees and goes off to ask some of the others. In all we pull together five Konoha ninjas plus my brother, sister, and me. Eight ninjas for the hunt.

We leave early the next morning, racing off through the forest as fast as we can manage. We don't really have an aim yet, but as long as we're moving, I won't complain.

I left the guards behind, not wanting them to get in the way.

MMM

After days of wandering through the forest, we decide to split into two groups of four. Naruto, Hinata, Lee, and Shikamaru go in one direction while Neji, Kankuro, Temari, and me go in the other. I can't stop thinking of her. I _know_ she's in trouble and I hate this feeling of helplessness. I've never felt it before and I never want to feel it again. I also don't like the feeling of the cool forest, it is so uncomfortable compared to the desert.

As evening approaches, we come upon a break in the trees and a small house in the middle. I look at the others and we approach slowly. I am the one chosen to knock on the door and I stand waiting impatiently. An aging woman with long raven black hair and pale skin with laugh lines etched in her face opens the door and surveys all of us. Her eyes land on the Hyuga boy and she smiles, gesturing for all of us to come in. She sits us in the family room and sits in a rocking chair by a fire.

"I knew you would come sooner or later," she says, somewhat ominously.

"How?" I ask, hope flooding my thoughts.

"They always come looking eventually. I haven't seen her in going on six months now. I'm sorry."

"What was the last you saw of her?" I ask, wanting to know of her life without me.

She eyes me for a moment, a soft smile spreading across her face.

"Gaara," she says, almost a whisper, "she missed you. She wouldn't admit it, but she missed you terribly every day. And how much that little girl really did look like you."

"Little girl," I manage, barely above a whisper.

"Yes, Yua she named her. Such a smart young girl. She's got to be six by now."

"What- what does she look like?"

"She's quite small, hair the same color as yours, eyes the same as her mother's."

My throat tightens at the thought of my daughter and I have to struggle to keep a mask of indifference on my face. Temari hugs me from behind, she hasn't even attempted to stop herself from crying. Kankuro puts a hand on my shoulder, but Neji doesn't move, he sits wide eyed and dazed.

The woman gets up from the chair and motions for Neji to follow her. He does, still in a daze. I shake Temari and Kankuro off and pull my knees up to my chest, sand surrounds me and I finally let the tears come. I don't cry for long, just enough to relieve some of the tightness in my chest.

When Neji and the women come back, they are followed by someone not much older than any of us and Neji looks even more confused and surprised.

We say our good-byes and once more set out in search of my love.

_I will find you _I vow silently.

A/N—No apology (damn you standardized testing) just review please (puppy dog eyes) I have the next chapter written, I just have to type it up. Slayspawn: I promise they will get longer…I just have a small case of writer's block


	25. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

I sit heavily on my bed, toying with a kunai. The knife feels so right in my hands and I wonder if I could use it to kill Itachi, but then reality sets in. there is no way I could kill Itachi, he'd see it coming and now that I'm so close to having this baby, I know he'd kill me first chance he got.

Lately, I've had to let Yua go wandering around without me because I can barely walk I've gotten so big. I'm much bigger than with Yua and that scares me. giving birth to Yua was hard enough, I don't know how I'm going to do it this time.

The baby squirms impatiently inside me and I grimace as it kicks me.

"I know, I know, I'm uncomfortable too. It'll all be over soon," I say, rubbing the spot where it kicked me. I shift uncomfortably for a second until I find a spot that isn't entirely painful. Everything is uncomfortable now, so I do my best to just stay out of pain.

Itachi walks in as I finally find a good position. I sigh and rub my belly, hoping he will not try anything.

"How are we doing today?" he asks, placing one hand on my swollen abdomen. I know he doesn't are about me, so I don't answer, but the baby kicks hard right where Itachi's hand is. I squirm at the feeling and Itachi has a smile on his face that I haven't seen before. It's an evil smile, like a diabolical villain plotting.

"How much longer do you think it will be?" he asks, the evil in his smile translating to his voice.

"I don't know, that's not for me to decide, but I can tell it'll be soon, it's running out of room in there."

"Yua is rather excited to be a big sister, it's all she can talk about. I think the others are almost getting annoyed, but I don't care, it amuses me."

I don't say anything, just nod, but I can't help but thinking about how good he is with children.

"You know what, I think I will take a walk, I'm starting to feel restless," I say, suddenly overtaken with the urge to move.

I heave myself out of bed, groaning as my back cracks. Itachi doesn't help me, but he follows. I can tell he's restless and ready too.

As we're walking, a small pain starts in my back. I try not to show it, but it won't go away. I stop for a moment and lean against the wall. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, the baby is just very heavy."

The pain passes and we keep walking. After about forty-five minutes, a pain rips through my stomach. I grit my teeth and take a deep breath. Itachi looks at me worriedly, but I wave it off.

"I'm okay. It's nothing yet, just a few pains. It could be false labor for all I know."

Itachi looks doubtful, but he keeps with me.

I turn around and walk back toward the room, suddenly very tired. After about half and hour, another pain pulses through me. I grab Itachi, letting a small noise escape my lips. After this one passes, I start walking quicker, ignoring Itachi. I just want to lay down and try to sleep. I haven't slept in so long.

By the time I get back to my bed, I'm in the middle of another contraction. I work on breathing and I can tell this will be worse that with Yua.

"I'll go get-."

"NO! I don't want someone hovering over me the whole time. Wait a while. Trust me, it's not coming for a long time still—." Another small pain cuts me off. I grimace a little, but don't make any unnecessary noise.

I start rocking back and forth, trying to calm the baby down. I can feel it moving as the contractions come. They get closer over the next two hours.

"GAH! IT HURTS" I scream. Itachi is sitting next to me and I can tell he wants to get the medic.

"It's okay, it's still not even close to coming," I say panting.

"How do you know?"

"I've done this before, I know what it feels like."

He doesn't say anything, but he looks doubtful.

I breathe my way through another contraction and start rocking back and forth, trying to find a way to relieve a little pain. I scoot to the edge of the bed, needing to walk a little.

"What are you doing?" Itachi growls as I heave myself to my feet.

"I _trying _to speed things up, get my water to break or _something_," I say as another pain rips through me.

I stay in the room, desperately wishing for my rocking chair. Walking around makes me more aware of the huge weight of the baby.

"It's…so…big…" A gasp of pain escapes my lips as I clutch Itachi's shoulder in pain. He does not draw away, but I can tell he doesn't like it.

As time passes the contractions get more intense, but I don't feel any closer to giving birth.

I want to scream for a release, but it would be futile, so instead, I just scream. I am now kneeling on the floor, clutching at the bed, swinging my body back and forth, trying anything to make this go faster. It helps a little, but not enough to keep the tears from stinging my eyes.

Then I feel soothing in me give way and then something warm and wet between my legs. Everything stops for a spilt second as I stare at Itachi.

"What?" he asks, sounding almost panicked. Everything starts up again, but doubled. I scream as pain engulfs everything in me. Yes, this is _much_ worse than with Yua.

Itachi comes over looking worried, "What's wrong?" he demands.

"My…water…broke…" I gasp out between contractions.

"Help me onto the bed," I say in a brief pause between contractions. He does and I lay there writhing in agony.

"I'm going to go get a medic," he says.

"NO! I don't need one yet!"

I breathe hard and scream when I need to. My knuckles are white were I'm clutching the bed sheets and I can feel the baby sitting on my spine.

"THIS NEEDS TO GO FASTER," I yell.

After what could have been minutes, hours, days, years, _millennia_, something changes; my body begins urging me to push.

"Itachi, go get a medic," I say, trying to sound calm as the contractions rip through me and I resist the urges. Sometimes the pressure becomes too much and I cheat a little, but I feel no progress being made.

Itachi brings someone in that I don't know. I don't notice much about them, the pain is so bad, I can barely see. As he prepares for the delivery, I have to push, no questions about it. I scream as I feel the baby pressing hard against my insides.

"It's too big, I'll never be able to do this," I say as the medic gets into position.

"It's fine, just keep pushing," he says. So I push again, holding onto the bed sheets for dear life. Nothing changes and I collapse back on the bed, panting unable to catch my breath.

After a few minutes, I find the energy to push again. I feel the baby movie the slightest bit this time. I pause for a brief breath before pushing again. My body seems to have a mind of its own as I push without pausing to breathe. As the baby moves a little more I fall back hard and heavy, my energy nearly depleted. I'm beginning to doubt that I'll make it through this alive.

I push four more times, getting closer every time.

"Okay, I can see it now, it won't be much longer," the medic informs us.

I push with all my might and feel the head emerge. Itachi moves from my side to watch the baby coming.

I push again, and again, and again, and on the third push, I feel the weight leave me. I collapse back on the bed, panting, unable to catch my breath or find the energy to move even the slightest muscle. The baby is screaming, but Itachi is blocking my view of it.

"It's a boy!" the medic announces. My eyes fill with tears. I know Itachi plans to name him, but I'm already thinking of names for when I escape. After about ten minutes, Itachi hands him to me to feed.

"He shall be called Yuudai," he says and I nod, though I have already resolved to call him Kota.

Itachi leaves for a while and when I'm done feeding and burping him, I hold him and watch him. He really is much bigger than Yua, but still unbelievably tiny. Unlike Yua, he is not looking around frantically, but more staring aimlessly. This worries me a little, but I dismiss it. All babies are different, right?

**A/N—Yeah, so review. **


	26. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**A/N—Remember this is an AU story, so a lot of things are going to be a lot different, especially the order in which certain things happen**

I have to get out, now. There is no doubt about it. How can I stay when Itachi is so obviously planning things that could force me to stay here forever? I have to escape this hell now. I hate to uproot Yua again, but I cannot go on never seeing her or Kota.

I am curled up in my cold hard bed, trying to keep my tears in, they are the only thing that keeps the emptiness at bay. I feel so small and lost and lifeless. I pull myself up and make my way out into the deepest parts of the Akatsuki's cave. I know it's dangerous, but I really have nothing to lose. Besides, from what I hear, Leader never sleeps, so I should be okay.

I knock on his office door timidly, but he hears me and the door swings open, revealing a large dark room, without me touching it. I walk in, growing more scared as I realize what kind of decision I've just made.

"Good evening Miss Hyuga," he greets with false pleasantness. I bow my head to him, trying not to show my fear or doubt.

"And what is it that I can do for you?" he ask, the fake air of pleasantry still in his voice.

"I want a job," I say, standing up straighter and keeping my voice as steady and confident as possible. After it comes out, I kind of wish I would have phrased it better, I mean, it's not like I'm dealing with a respectable business man, I'm dealing with a criminal, probably the worst out there.

Though I can not see it in the darkness of the room, I can feel his smirk.

"And what makes you qualified to work for me?" he asks. I'm almost stumped by this as I forget even my name, but then it all comes rushing back to me.

"Well, I've betrayed two villages, had children with both Itachi Uchiha _and _the boy who holds the Shukaku demon. Besides, I have a keke genkai that could be very useful."

He laughs a laugh that causes tremors to run down my spine and goose bumps to breakout over every inch of my body. There is a rustle of fabric and something is thrown at me. I catch it and hold it out, it is the same cloak that everyone else here wears. I've got the job, now I'll be sent on missions, maybe I'll even be able to find Gaara or Neji or _someone_ I know and find a way out of here.

"Usually I do not allow teams of more than two, but I will make an exception for you. You will be on the team with Itachi and Kisame."

"Thank you sir," I say bowing and retreating. The door closes without any help from me.

**MMM**

Once again, I feel like I am on my first mission. I'm slightly scared and more than reluctant. Even though I know that I'm doing this to free myself, I can't help but feel deep down like I'm betraying everyone I love. I see their faces flash before me, disappointed, Father, Neji, Raven, Taro, Temari, Kankuro, Gaara. I want to cry, but I keep my emotions to myself, shifting into ninja mode as we leave the cave and take off into the icy night. I don't really know what this mission is for, Itachi won't tell me and Kisame probably knows about as much as I do.

We ram our way through the days and nights, three to be exact, without rest. Though this kills me, I don't say anything, from the way Kisame looks, he's just as tired as I am, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me begging for a break. Besides, if we stopped, I probably wouldn't be able to rest anyway. So on we pressed until we reached our destination; Konoha.

I still don't know why I'm here, but I know it can't be good, nothing the Akatsuki does is good. We stop just outside the gates and disguise ourselves, Itachi and I as husband and wife, and Kisame as Itachi's brother. I have to cut most of my hair off and my eyes become a dark violet while Itachi's become blue. Kisame merely changes color to look human. We enter the village easily, the guards buying our story without many questions. We rent a cheap room at an inn for the next few days, even though we probably won't stay that long.

We choose a restaurant that looks somewhat popular and find a seat. We order drinks we won't drink and then I look out the window, pretending to take in the sights and people, but really, I'm looking for a way to get away from Itachi. As if reading my mind, he reaches over and puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. I look up at him, doing my best to fake the loving eyes of a newly wed, and he smiles down at me with fake, yet flawless adoration. I lean my head against his shoulder and try to keep from running away.

"So, are you going to tell us why we're here or not?" Kisame says, diverting Itachi's attention.

"Same as always: capture the nine tails." His voice is soft as always, and it sends shivers down my spine. I remember something about a child who held the nine tailed fox demon, he defeated Gaara in the chunin exams, though I don't remember his name, I remember what he looks like, spiky blonde hair, big blue eyes, bright orange clothes, and a gigantic smile almost always plastered on his face. The image of innocence. And yet he managed to do something no one else could do, beat Gaara.

As we leave the restaurant, Itachi loops an arm around my waist and I smile like I'm just shy about people seeing us so close in pubic. I don't know how much more of this I can stand.

I look through the crowds, searching for a familiar face, but there aren't any. It's almost like every leaf ninja I've ever met has up and disappeared all together.

I yawn up at Itachi cutely, like I'm really tiered from the long journey. He smiles down at me sweetly and directs me gently toward the inn.

He closes the door and pushes me down on the bed, gives me a warning look, as if to say, '_try anything and die,' _and leaves.

For the first time in a long time, I activate my Byakugan and watch Itachi leave. When he's far enough away that I can't see him anymore, I wait a while longer before jumping out the window. _'Running away again,' _the voice in my head whispers. "No," I say back, "making sure I won't have to."

I bolt for the Hokage tower, hoping against hop that I won't be killed for just who I am. I discard the disguise as I run down a dark ally and when I come out the other end, I look like my old self, or as close as I can since the hair cut.

When I reach the Hokage's tower, I get a much different welcome than I figured I would.

A woman holding a pig spots me and her face shows a number of emotions in a very short time. Confusion, recognition, surprise, all flashing across her features, no fear, no hate. She grabs my arm without saying anything. Is there some sort of bounty on my head? Did I just walk into some sort of trap?

She bursts through the Hokage's office door, "Tsunade, I found her!" she very nearly shouts.

The Hokage, a different one than the one I met so long ago, looks up surprised. Recognition dawns on her features.

"Hanara Hyuga?" she asks in an attempt to sound like she hasn't just been caught off guard. I nod and keep my eyes cast down.

"Where have you been for so long?" she asks and I can't trust myself to speak without losing it, so I pull out my Akatsuki cloak that I hid under my clothes. Her eyes go dark for a moment before she masks it with concern.

"Why?"  
"Uchiha Itachi tricked me, impregnated me, I couldn't escape him until now. I tried so hard, but I couldn't do anything. And now I'm scared, they're both, with those terrible people." I break down in tears, thinking about my babies being stuck in that cave with all those people. I know Yua likes everyone there, but she looks at them like role models and it scares me, just another reason to get her and Kota out of there.

"It's okay, calm down, we'll help," Tsunade says, putting a comforting arm around my shoulders and pulling me into a hug.

"Itachi's here, in Konoha, he's here with his partner Kisame to kidnap the nine tails."

"How lucky then that Naruto is away on a mission." Naruto, that's his name.

"Mission?" stupid, I sound like I've never heard the word before.

"Yes and coincidentally, he's looking for you."

"Looking for me?" why would anyone be looking for me? Especially someone I've never really met.

"Yes, there's a whole search party out looking for you."

"Why?"

"Gaara was worried. Somehow, he knew something was wrong with you and he went to help. And here you show up in Konoha all by yourself. Guess I should have them summoned back."

My heart jumps at the thought of seeing Gaara again. I don't know why though, he left me pregnant with his child without so much as a backward glance.

_'but you're the one who ran away…' _ a little voice in my head reminds me. It's right I guess, maybe we could have talked it out, but I had to pull my little disappearing trick.

Tsunade summons one of her guards and I am lead away to a room that looks more like a holding place for prisoners, there is only a bed, a table, a chair, and a door that I assume leads to a bathroom. My escort leaves, locking the door behind him. I crawl into the bed and try to sleep, but every time I close my eyes, I can see Yua and Kota, so small and helpless and alone and here I am, lying in a bed, not doing anything for them.

I stand up again and begin pacing, trying to think of a way to get out of this, the whole time feeling like someone is watching me, and I don't doubt it. I need to help my children, I need to start over, I need to give them the chance I never had, the chance for a normal loving family.

The door opens and food is left on the table. My stomach begins to growl when I smell it, so I dig in shamelessly. When I'm done, I begin feeling sleepy, my eyelids becoming droopy and I fall on the bed.

When I wake up, there are fuzzy figures surrounding me. I blink a few times and Tsunade's face comes into view and she is surrounded by ANBU.

"Hanara, I need you to tell us what Itachi and Kisame are disguised like," she demands urgently.

"I don't know, they've probably changed by now, especially if they've noticed I'm gone." Then, all at once, it comes crashing down on me, Itachi _will _kill me if he finds me, he has no reason not to now and I've betrayed the Akatsuki, so I don't any protection there either.

"Hanara, you have to stay with us, we need your help," Tsunade begs, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I say dumbly, my mind hazy.

"Do you know any weaknesses of either of them?"

I shake my head. "I never really spent much time around any of them, Itachi kept me locking in a room most of the time."

Tsunade swears under her breath and turns to the ANBUs.

"Two of you stay here, the rest of you pull together teams and hunt them down," she orders.

They all bow before all but two disappear. Of the two that remain, one goes out to guard the door and one sits in the chair. I sit on the bed trying to clear the haze from my mind.

"What just happened?" I ask my guard, a ninja wearing a bear mask.

"Some civilians were found dead scattered throughout the village, the cause of death was something only Uchiha Itachi could pull off."

I jump up and begin pacing again, now innocent people are dying because of that bastard.

"Calm down, do you really think our ninjas stand that small a chance?" the ANBU asks.

"Against Itachi? Yes," I answer. He looks at me and though he's wearing a mask, I can tell it's a questioning look.

" I don't know much about him, but I do know he's very dangerous. Trust me, I've been on the receiving end of his 'pleasures', I'd imagine his anger would be significantly worse. I've seen shadows of it lurking under the surface, ready to strike, but I've always managed to avoid it."

The ANBU continues to be emotionless, impassive, but I can tell this information unsettles him a little, I just don't know which part.

I go back to pacing, trying to think my way out of this. If only someone cared about _me_, maybe then I wouldn't be in this mess, or at least I'd have help. But sadly, no one is concerned about my welfare, it's all about them, always everyone but me. And here I go, whining like the small child I barely got to be. I sigh and throw myself on the bed, ready to give up on it all.

After a few hours of me fidgeting, pacing, and lying stiffly on the bed, another tray of food is delivered to me. I refuse it at first, but the smell gets to me after a while and I give in, what's there to lose? After a few bites, the sleepiness from earlier comes back and I realize too late that the food is drugged. I black out and swim in sweet oblivion for I-don't-know-how-long before surfacing again on the hard bed. I stir and cringe at the bright light from the window until something blocks it out.

"You may leave now," a soft, commanding voice says. The words are like a long missed music to me and sit straight up in the bed, instantly regretting it as a wave of dizzy nausea sweeps over me.

"Hanara?" Gaara whispers, looking at me disbelieving.

**A/N—hehe, cliffy. Sorry it's been forever (literally). I had this written out a while ago, but I lost it and exams came along and consumed all my time, but now summer's here, so this should be wrapping up soon (especially after June, seeing as this will be my busiest month). Please don't kill me for the long waits ducks flying objects* I love you all, please just be patient, I promise it'll be worth it ;) **


	27. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

It's a scene out of a dream I had long ago, but not exactly. I stand less than five feet from Gaara and am paralyzed by the fact. He stares at me, as if trying to decide whether I'm real or if this is all just a wonderful dream and I'm wondering the same about him. Sand swirls around my feet and fastens around my ankles and wrists like chains. I don't struggle or fight, finding it impossible to be afraid. Gaara walks forward, reaching his hand out to touch m face, hesitantly at first, then almost…hungry.

"Yes Gaara, it's me," I whisper encouragingly. The sand releases me and I fly into his arms, trying to lose myself in him. I know he has the same desire because he pulls me as close as possible and buries his face in my hair, inhaling deeply.

"Gaara," I nearly sob out, overcome with emotion.

"Hanara," he whispers, his face still in my hair, his voice muffled and distorted.

"What took so long?" I ask, finally realizing how much I've been waiting for this moment, for him to find me.

"I tried, I really tried, but I was always one step behind you," he says, pulling me down to sit on the bed. I snuggle up close to him, sitting in his lap and leaning my head against his shoulder.

"What's she like?" he asks.

"She's the most wonderful thing in the world Gaara. She has your hair and my eyes and she loves to run and explore. Oh Gaara, I miss her." I sob hysterically as I once again think of my daughter, which leads me to thinking of my son.

"It'll be okay, we'll get both of them back, and we'll start as soon as you're ready, physically and emotionally."

"I am ready. I have to get them back NOW!"

"I know, I know, but please, just rest one more day for me and we'll go tomorrow."

"But—," I attempt to protest, but am cut off.

"No buts, I understand you're anxiousness, I feel it to. Can you imagine what it's like to have never met your own child before?"

I shake my head, unable to understand it, and yet so able at the same time. How few times I've held Kota. How few times I've _seen _him. But I don't tell Gaara this, he doesn't need to know, not yet.

I pretend to yawn, "Well, if I need rest as bad as you say I do, I might as well get started now," I say. He lies down with me and holds me protectively in his arms and for a split second I want to stay like this forever. I inhale the scent of desert and forest mixing together on Gaara's skin, allowing that, coupled with his breathing, to lull me into an uneasy sleep.

MMM

We set out on the mission I groups of four. My team consists of Gaara, Neji, Hinata, and I. I don't know about the other teams, nor do I care as long as they do their jobs.

My team is the first to leave the village, the others following at five hour intervals incase one team fails, there will be no time for regrouping on the Akasuki's part. But I don't think it will be possible for my team to lose with so many close family ties coming into this.

We race through the forest, scarcely making time to rest and we make it to the Akatsuki layer by night fall. The rock looms imposingly in front of us, and only I know the dangers that lurk behind it. But my children are also behind it, living with those horrors. A shiver runs through me at the thought of all the horrible things that could be happening to them.

Everyone looks at me, probably expecting me to get them in, but I doubt I could, they most likely already know of my betrayal. I look around, surveying the area, trying to find the look out that is no doubt stationed somewhere near by, most likely watching our every move.

"What do we do now?" Gaara asks, coming up beside me.

"We wait, they'll figure out our intentions soon enough."

We don't have to wait long before we are faced with four of the Akatsuki members. Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, and Deidara emerge from the rock face as if it isn't even there.

"I knew you'd come crawling back eventually," Itachi says in his calm manner, but I can feel the cruel intentions none the less.

"I'm not, I just want my children back and we'll leave, no harm done, and you can go back to your evil ways, we won't even give your location away," I reply evenly. Gaara stands next to me, I can feel the sand swirling around both our feet, itching to attack.

Itachi steps forward, a smirk gracing his otherwise stoic features. Gaara steps in front of me protectively, causing Itachi's smirk to widen.

"Deidara, he's yours," Itachi says and Deidara giggles.

Itachi grabs me by the shirt and lifts me up. I make a point to avoid looking him in the eyes.

"You should have just left them," he says with the same infuriating calm as always.

"With you bastards? I may be stupid and naïve, but I'm not that kind of crazy," I say, anger dripping from every word. I try to lash out at him, kick him or something, but his hold is too strong, all I succeed in doing is getting him to laugh a cold, heartless laugh; the laugh of someone about to do something truly evil. He grabs my face roughly and forces me to meet his eye. Before I can even think about closing my eyes, it is too late.

I am sucked into a world of black on red and even though I know this is only an illusion, only in my mind, I can feel the terror begin to set in. I know all about this trick and the terrible things it can do to a person. I try my best not to show my terror, but that's impossible in this place.

Itachi's low, humorless laugh rips through the air, completely engulfing me, and is followed by two cries of pain. One is from a baby, the other from a young girl. Kota and Yua. Then he disappears.

_It is only an illusion _I tell myself, forcing down the panic and replacing it with calm. But that can only last so long as the tortured cries of my children become more urgent, louder, and farther away. I can't tell what direction the sound is coming from, but possibilities begin to run through my mind. Insane thoughts that only make sense because I'm here.

What it he's trapped them here too? What if he's killing them? How am I going to find them when I can't even tell which direction they're in?

Itachi begins a countdown.

_70 Hours _—I run in the first direction I choose, not even sure myself what direction it is.

_69 Hours _—I trip over my stupid feet and fall face first onto the ground, how wonderful it sounds to just stay here.

_55 Hours —_I turn to my right and begin in that direction, I have to find them, save them, their cries are tearing at my heart. If only everything didn't look exactly the same here.

_42 Hours —_Tears slide out my eyes as I fall again, landing roughly on my knees, what is this the hundredth, thousandth time I've fallen now? _31 Hours —_I fall to my knees again, this time in near defeat. My heart must be a bleeding ragged mess in my chest now, that's how it feels, and another shot goes through me every time I hear another scream, another cry.

_23 Hours —_Death sounds like a good idea, anything would be better than this. Maybe if I were dead, he would stop.

_17 Hours —_I collapse to tears on the ground, clutching at my ears to stop the noise if even for a second, but the sound seems to be coming from everywhere, even inside my own mind.

_1 Hour —_I am no longer able to function, I lie on the ground, spread eagle, waiting for it to stop, losing my breath with every shot to my heart…

**MMM**

_What a beautiful place. Dark, no pain, no sound. Perfect. Silence. It's like floating on a cloud. But there is something missing, something I can't quite put my finger on. Do I even have a finger to put on anything? It doesn't feel like it, I feel insubstantial, like my body is no longer needed. I give myself to the darkness happily, hoping this never ends. _

"_**Momma, momma can you hear me?"**__ a small voice reaches my ears, a voice that seems to pull me away from this perfect place. I am overcome with a level of reluctance to leave this place, but that voice sounded so distant, so helpless, so desperate. I consider ignoring it, but something is nagging at me, trying to drive me towards it. __**"Momma, please!"**__ the voice insists. Something in my consciousness stirs, pulling me towards it. _

"_**Yua, leave your mommy alone, let her rest," **__a small calming voice says. I am drawn to this voice too, but no more sound reaches me after this and I don't know where to go. _

_I float again in blissfulness for a while, losing more and more of the sense I once held of myself. Then voices once more break through, one from before, the other familiar and yet alien. _

"_**You have to do something, we cannot lose her!" **__the voice from before says insistently._

"_**Dammit Gaara, I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!" **__the other voice, a women, says, clearly annoyed at this Gaara._

"_**Please Tsunade, do anything,"**__ Gaara pleads, and the desperation in his voice crushes me. I struggle toward it, but it feels like I'm trying to walk through dried cement. _

"_**Please Hanara, don't leave me, I'm not as strong as you, I can't do this alone."**__ The words are followed by the cries of a baby and I once more struggle towards it, doubling my efforts. Someone needs my help and I cannot deny it, even if staying in this weightless paradise is so much more tempting. _

_Gaara continues murmuring pleas and I force everything I am (whatever I am) to follow his voice. The transition is instant, one moment I am in the weightless black place, _the next I am surrounded by light, my body feels heavy, and my mind is fuzzy. There is a dull ache in all of my muscles that seems to be radiating to my bones.

"Hanara!" the voice is loud and causes a sharp pain to shoot through my head. I groan and clenching my eyes shut, why'd I come back again? Then a small cry comes from the same direction of Gaara's voice. I sit up straight in the bed.

"Kota!" I exclaim, looking down at the wailing baby in Gaara's arms. "You got him back!" I say, a smile breaking out across my face causing me to flinch from the pain.

"Yes, are you okay? How do you feel?" Gaara asks worriedly.

"I'm fine, just a little achy. Let me hold him."

Gaara holds Kota out to me, his expression sad and almost fearful.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I'm not sure I should be the one to tell you, I don't much understand it myself, I'll go get Tsunade, she'll tell you." He leaves, looking back once for a moment.

I look down at Kota, his crying has turned into gurgles and he is squirming around, as if trying to break free of my arms. I bounce his softly and hum a tune to calm him down. He opens his eyes, but doesn't look at me, he doesn't seem to be looking at anything in fact.

Tsunade walks into the room, followed by Gaara, both looking apologetic and forcibly calm.

"Hanara," Tsunade says softly, like if she talks too loudly, she'll break me. "How are you feeling?" "Fine, is there something wrong?" I ask, my mind instantly jumping to Yua, wondering where she could be.

"Well, I'm afraid I _do _have some bad news for you. Your son, he's…he's blind."

I can feel the world come crashing around me at the last word and my mind refuses to believe it. How could something so wonderful, so beautiful, so perfect be denied one of the most basic parts of living? The tears come before I can think to stop them and then I am encased in a strong pair of arms. I am vaguely aware of Tsunade leaving as Gaara begins whispering in my ear.

"It'll be okay, we'll work through this," he whispers.

"But…but why? How?"

"Tsunade said something about the possibility of this being the result mixing of the Byakugan and Itachi's level of Sharingan."

"What happened to Itachi and the others?"

"All of us are fine, a few injuries but no one is going to die. As for the Akatsuki, Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, and Kisame were all killed, the rest of them got away."

I look down at the sleeping form in my arms, not even a year old yet and still so much has been through so much, and it's all my fault.

"I'm his mother, I was supposed to protect him from pain and suffering, and yet it was I who inflicted it upon him."

"Don't talk like that," Gaara whispers, "It is not your fault, you couldn't have known."

The tears come again, flowing freely.

"What about Yua?" I ask, my imagination running away on me again.

"She is with Neji now, she couldn't stand to stay here while you were so still and hurt," Gaara replies, a small smile coming across his features. "She truly is perfect," he says, his mind clearly miles away.

"Yes," I agree and lean into his shoulder.

"We'll make it through this, everything will be wonderful someday," he says, but I can't help but distrust him. I agree anyway.

**A/N—O_o don't kill me. I am so sorry this took so long. Curse you real life **

***shakes fist*. **

**I don't really have anything to say except that I stole a little from Star Trek and Everclear for this chapter (can you find them?)**

**Now go and review and perhaps I'll get motivated to write more, sooner. **


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